Time passes, but one thing remains the same: people do not appreciate good relationship. It is worth once to come to someone's aid, as a person will have to do it all the time: refusals are not accepted. Although gratitude for a good attitude sometimes happens, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Surely everyone is familiar with the gospel story about how Jesus healed 10 sick people, but only one thanked him. And this is far from the first evidence of human ingratitude.
An innate property of higher animals
The question of why people do not value a good relationship has been answered not only by psychologists, moralists and researchers of ethical sciences, but also by ordinary scientists, in particular, zoologists. So, Konrad Lorenz, an Austrian zoologist and animal psychologist, shed some light on the cause of human ingratitude. He studied the behavior of animals for a long time and came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate quality of higher animals.
There is also intraspecific aggression, when members of the same species attack their own kind when they enter their territory. This behavior helps to survive in wild nature.
Invasion and Morality
Even without a scientific basis, it is easy to determine that intraspecific aggression is also characteristic of people, they just call it differently - competitive struggle. For example, in one city there are two photo studios. They are located in different parts of the city, and the owners are even friends. But if one of them opens his studio next to a competitor, then a fierce struggle and poaching of customers will begin, because such an act is an encroachment on someone else's territory.
A simple conclusion suggests itself from this: by nature, a person is evil, but at the same time a social being. To survive, he needs to learn to exist with his own kind, so there is morality, rules of conduct and other laws in society. To reduce someone's aggression, people try to express submissiveness. And the conclusion that suggests itself: gratitude and a good attitude are perceived as weakness. Everyone expects to be treated well, but no one wants to do it in return.
A person, doing good to someone, transcends his natural egoism and wants this “sacrifice” to be appreciated. If someone sees a good attitude towards himself, he feels his superiority. And it feeds the ego. That's why people don't appreciate a good relationship.
How to respond to ingratitude?
It has long been known that people do not value a good relationship. And during this time, a lot of sayings have accumulated. they say that it is impossible to provide services where they are not asked.
Treat others the way they treat you.
Don't do favors that you're not asked for.
Do good and throw it into the water.
Praises, like gold and diamonds, are valuable only when they are rare.
Do not look for scoundrels, meanness is committed by good people.
Despite the fact that a person is a rational being and must act rationally, most human actions are performed under the influence of instincts, and not reason. Since everyone has instincts, but fate has deprived someone of upbringing and prudence.
From Shakespeare
Well, with science and instincts figured out, it's time to move on to philosophy, ethics and aesthetics. Let's start with Shakespeare. Another famous playwright of the past asked the question:
Is there anything more monstrous than the ingratitude of man?
Unfortunately, he was never able to answer it. People did not appreciate and do not appreciate a good attitude, neither then nor now. It is worth helping someone disinterestedly, as instead of gratitude, a person is obliged to help constantly. No wonder they say that if you help someone a couple of times, someone's legs immediately begin to hang from their necks. People take kindness for granted and get very offended when they have to be rejected.
Goethe once said that ingratitude is a common weakness. Outstanding people will never allow themselves to be ungrateful. In any case, they will find a way to thank the one who helped them, and they will never forget the service rendered to them.
No fool and life is bad
There are many aphorisms about when people do not appreciate a good attitude. One of them is worth highlighting:
There must always be fools in the world who sacrifice their personal interests in the name of the public, receiving reproach and ingratitude in return (Alexander Hamilton).
It is possible that if everyone was engaged exclusively in their own affairs, then there would be no society as such. Perhaps anarchy would reign everywhere, people would look at each other like a wolf and would see their enemy in everyone they met. Only due to the fact that there are people who will not spare themselves for the benefit of others, society somehow resembles a civilized society. But even here there are many unpleasant situations that cannot be dealt with.
When they don't appreciate
People don't appreciate a good relationship. Quotations on this occasion can be given not one or two. The most unpleasant thing is when for the sake of another person you have to do unseemly, sometimes even illegal actions.
Ingratitude never hurts the human heart more than when it comes from people for whose sake we have decided on an unseemly act (Henry Fielding, "The Story of Tom Jones").
It is said that the victors do not tend to remember those who cleared the path to the throne for them with swords. This truth is as old as the world, but not a single ruler has yet disdained it.
A demonstrative gratitude, a few words, a diploma, a medal or a posthumous speech are formalities, not gratitude. Indeed, the game will go on until the king falls, no matter how many pawns lie at his throne. But one day fate will begin to take revenge, and then the one who did not know how to appreciate a good attitude towards himself will be in the place of the one whom he offended. Life is impossibly wise, so do not get hung up on the bad, one day everything will fall into place, the mosaic will work out and everything will be as it should be. The main thing is not to forget to thank fate for this.
One day a young man came to the sage and said:
I came to you because I feel so miserable and worthless that I don't want to live. Everyone around me keeps saying that I'm a loser, a bungler and an idiot. Please, sage, help me!
With pleasure, sage, - he muttered, bitterly noting that he was once again relegated to the background.
Good, - said the sage and removed from his left little finger a small golden ring with a beautiful stone. - Take a horse and ride to the market place! I need to urgently sell this ring to pay off a debt. Try to take more for it, and in no case do not settle for a price lower than a gold coin! Download and come back as soon as possible!
The young man took the golden ring and rode away. Arriving at the market square, he began to offer the ring to the merchants, and at first they looked at his goods with interest. But as soon as they heard about the gold coin, they immediately lost all interest in the ring. Some openly laughed in his face, others simply turned away, and only one elderly merchant kindly explained to him that a gold coin is too high a price for such a ring and that only a copper coin can be given for it, well, in extreme cases, silver.
Hearing the words of the old man, the young man was very upset, because he remembered the order of the sage in no case to lower the price below the gold coin. Having bypassed the entire market and offered a ring to a good hundred people, the young man again saddled his horse and returned back. Strongly dejected by the failure, he went to the sage.
Sage, I could not fulfill your order, - he said sadly. - At best, I could get a couple of silver coins for a gold ring, but you didn’t tell me to settle for less than a gold one! And this ring is not worth that much.
You just said some very important words, son! the sage replied. - Before trying to sell the ring, it would be nice to establish its true value! Well, who can do it better than a jeweler? Run to the jeweler and ask him how much he will offer us for the ring. Whatever he tells you, don't sell the ring, but come back to me.
The young man again jumped on his horse and went to the jeweler.
The jeweler looked at the golden ring through a magnifying glass for a long time, then weighed it on a small scale, and finally turned to the young man:
Tell the sage that I can't give him more than fifty-eight pieces of gold right now. But if he gives me time, I'll buy the ring for seventy, given the urgency of the deal.
Seventy coins?! - the young man laughed happily, thanked the jeweler and rushed back at full speed.
Sit down here, - he said, after listening to a lively story young man. - And know, son, that you are this very ring. Precious and unique! And only a true expert can evaluate you. So why are you walking around the bazaar, expecting the first person you meet to do it?
Now you understand what to do if you are not appreciated?
02.08.2015
You never know which kiss will be the last, which rebuke will never be spoken again, which conversation will never take place again, with whom you will never argue again and where you will never return. You never know how the next story in your life will end. But while it lasts, you need to appreciate every moment, every second, every moment!
#1
We often do not appreciate what we have.
Sorry later. We live the best we can.
But only when someone leaves forever,
Wisdom and regret come to us.
So rarely "I love you" repeat
And it seems that we are in control of our lives.
Kissing in a hurry, rushing things,
Not realizing that they might not be.
How often do we have, not appreciating,
And we only appreciate what we don't have.
We envy others, we pity ourselves,
#2
We often do not appreciate what we have
We often do not appreciate what we have.
We don't know how much we are missing.
Sometimes, like a miracle, we are waiting for something,
Completely forgetting about his own, about his own.
We, aiming our hopes and dreams into the distance,
We often do not believe that they are not needed there.
How bitter, annoying it is sometimes,
To say goodbye to a dream that did not come true.
And how hard it is to go back again -
Bad omen, you will not be happy.
But you have to live and get up from your knees,
Give everything to those who are with you in bad weather.
Give warmth to those who are close to you,
Don't chase a ghostly bright dream.
A dream is like a star: flash, shine and faded...
Keep the love that has not yet died out!
Keep love, what else is so beautiful!
Save it, do not consider it in vain.
Your demon-tempter has been exiled...
You really are not an angel, but you are a winner!
Don't forgive change! Any betrayal is a comparison, a search for something better than you have. He who seeks the best will never appreciate what he has.
#3
We often do not appreciate what we have
We often don't appreciate what we have until we lose it.
We do not appreciate what is near, but when we lose we cry.
We want to forget about everything, to cross out crosswise.
We say goodbye, hoping we'll meet again someday.
We erase the address, the phone number, but we will never erase it from memory.
We want to find the best, knowing that the best is in the past.
We say "no", but the heart screams "yes".
We say goodbye, but the soul screams "don't let go."
We know we love, but we won't be the first to say it.
We say what we think, but we already know the answer.
We want to be loved, but we pretend that we do not love, not realizing that the greatest happiness on earth is to be needed by someone.
Love pushes a person to any actions, even no matter what.
Love is fragile, like crystal, it is very easy to break it, it is hard to save it, but it is even harder to glue the pieces back together.
#4
Appreciate what you have
When you do not want, but you have, -
You have it without appreciating it.
When you lose, you understand:
It is no longer possible without this.
Waking up late, you regret...
Sorry you didn't notice.
Appreciate what you have
Love before you lose!
We cry because of our quarrels with our parents, and someone has no parents at all. We complain about our work, but someone does not have it at all. We hate ourselves because we overeat, and someone dreams of a normal diet. We are angry at our loved one, but someone has lost him and will never return him. We do not like our mess in the apartment, we dream of moving into a huge house, and someone dreams of 9 square meters in a communal apartment. We need to appreciate everything that we have in this moment and be thankful to fate.
#5
Just lost...
Only when we lose do we realize that we loved.
Only when we lose do we beg for forgiveness.
Only having lost, we blame ourselves for not appreciating.
Only when we lose do we learn to love!
Only having lost, the blood boils in the heart.
Only having lost, the soul knocks on the alarm.
Only having lost, we are looking for a way to keep warm,
Get your star back!
Only having lost, not believing in the law of fate,
We wash our face with tears.
Only having lost, we knock on all doors,
But the tram left and we were not destined!
Only when we lose do we break the rails
And let the train go straight down the slope.
We are building a road to a wounded heart,
But to improve feelings is not given seriously!
Only having lost, we light candles
For love and tenderness.
Forgetting that the cold mutilated the heart,
Candles will not help him become kinder!
Dear people, become wiser
Take care of your love!
Light a fire in your heart as soon as possible
Let the soul stay in the ranks!
Don't play with other feelings
Remember: love is always pure!
The pain will overtake, the days will become dashing -
And the soul wants tenderness!
#6
When it's impossible to live without each other
We seek, we meet, we find, we lose.
Having - we do not appreciate, meeting - we give up.
Trials and torture. They got together, ran away ...
They did not have time to live and parted again.
But where is love, so that forever and without end?
Or maybe this one, or maybe another?
Faces, bodies and smiles change,
But the search only multiplies the errors.
Love, affection, passion - whatever,
We play freely with ourselves and others.
When love is not difficult to guess,
When it's impossible to live without each other...
#7
How often do we have without appreciating
Julie Vers
Love was searched and not found
Love lost and not cherished.
"Love doesn't exist" people said
And they themselves died without love.
Its end. And won't come back again
Those meetings that I waited and avoided,
Those thoughts and that closeness that frightened
And sweet hopes of love.
How often do we have, not appreciating,
And we appreciate only what we do not have,
We envy others, we pity ourselves,
Blame your neighbor for your problems.
Not thinking how easy it is to lose
All that is given to us by fate,
We destroy happiness with our own hand
And try to pick up the pieces.
We act bolder and dumber -
Separation will not bring pleasure ...
We do not lose feelings, but peace,
Making yourself hurt more.
Easy to advise others, easy to judge
Someone else's life is passing by ...
Own - fog, where it's cold alone.
But, despite this, you need to live.
I want you to forget me.
I pray for this as a miracle.
Then I didn't have the strength
To tell you that "us" will not be.
You know it hurts to leave
When a little more, but you love.
I desperately want to forget
But do you forget those feelings?
And the meeting - trembling down the back,
Heartbeat, cold palms.
What are you talking about? Come on, words are empty
They are just an excuse
Hold on for a moment
Look into your eyes... What if everything comes back?!
And all that is long gone
Anxious pain will stir. ☸
ڿڰۣ-
Clever thoughts come only when stupid things have already been done.
Only those who make absurd attempts can achieve the impossible. Albert Einstein
Good friends, good books and a sleeping conscience - this is the ideal life. Mark Twain
You can't go back in time and change your start, but you can start now and change your finish.
Upon closer examination, it generally becomes clear to me that those changes that seem to come with the passage of time are, in fact, no changes at all: only my view of things changes. (Franz Kafka)
And although the temptation is great to go along two roads at once, you can’t play with the same deck of cards with both the devil and God ...
Appreciate those with whom you can be yourself.
Without masks, omissions and ambitions.
And take care of them, they are sent to you by fate.
After all, in your life there are only a few of them
For an affirmative answer, only one word is enough - “yes”. All other words are invented to say no. Don Aminado
Ask a person: "What is happiness?" and you will find out what he misses the most.
If you want to understand life, then stop believing what they say and write, but observe and feel. Anton Chekhov
There is nothing in the world more destructive, more unbearable than inaction and waiting.
Turn your dreams into reality, work on ideas. Those who laughed at you before will begin to envy.
Records are there to be broken.
Don't waste time, invest in it.
The history of mankind is the history of a fairly small number of people who believed in themselves.
Did you push yourself to the limit? Don't you see the point in living anymore? So, you are already close ... Close to the decision to reach the bottom in order to push off from it and decide to be happy forever .. So do not be afraid of the bottom - use it ....
If you are honest and frank, then people will deceive you; still be honest and frank.
A person rarely succeeds in anything if his occupation does not give him joy. Dale Carnegie
If at least one flowering branch remains in your soul, a singing bird will always sit on it. (Eastern wisdom)
One of the laws of life says that as soon as one door closes, another one opens. But the whole trouble is that we look at the locked door and do not pay attention to the opened one. André Gide
Don't judge a person until you talk to them in person, because everything you hear is hearsay. Michael Jackson.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Mahatma Gandhi
Human life is divided into two halves: during the first half they strive forward to the second, and during the second back to the first.
If you don't do anything yourself, how can you be helped? You can only drive a moving car
All will be. Only when you decide to do it.
In this world, you can look for everything except love and death... They will find you when the time comes.
Inner satisfaction in spite of the surrounding world of suffering is a very valuable asset. Sridhar Maharaj
Start now to live the life that you would like to see it in the end. Marcus Aurelius
We must live every day as if it were the last moment. We do not have a rehearsal - we have a life. We don't start it from Monday - we live today.
Every moment of life is another opportunity.
A year later, you will look at the world with different eyes, and even this tree that grows near your house will seem different to you.
Happiness does not need to be sought - it must be. Osho
Almost every success story that I know of started with a man lying on his back, defeated by failure. Jim Rohn
Every long journey begins with one, the first step.
Nobody is better than you. Nobody is smarter than you. They just started early. Brian Tracy
The one who runs falls. He who crawls does not fall. Pliny the Elder
It is enough just to understand that you live in the future, as soon as you find yourself there.
I choose to live rather than exist. James Alan Hetfield
When you appreciate what you have, and not live in search of ideals, then you will truly become happy ..
Only those who are worse than us think badly about us, and those who are better than us are simply not up to us. Omar Khayyam
Sometimes one call separates us from happiness… One conversation… One confession…
By admitting one's weakness, one becomes strong. Honre Balzac
He who humbles his spirit is stronger than he who conquers cities.
When an opportunity presents itself, you must seize it. And when you grabbed it, achieved success - enjoy it. Feel the joy. And let everyone around suck your hose for being goats, when they didn’t even give you a penny. And then go away. Handsomely. And leave everyone in shock.
Never despair. And if you have already fallen into despair, then continue to work in despair.
A decisive step forward is the result of a good kick from behind!
In Russia, you have to be either famous or rich to be treated the way anyone in Europe is treated. Konstantin Raikin
It all depends on your attitude. (Chuck Norris)
No reasoning can show a man the path he does not want to see Romain Rolland
What you believe in becomes your world. Richard Matheson
It's good where we're not. We are no longer in the past, and therefore it seems beautiful. Anton Chekhov
The rich get richer because they learn to overcome financial hardship. They see them as an opportunity to learn, grow, develop, and prosper.
Everyone has their own hell - it's not necessarily fire and tar! Our hell is a wasted life! Where Dreams Lead
It doesn't matter how hard you work, the main thing is the result.
Only mother has the most affectionate hands, the most tender smile and the most loving heart ...
Winners in life always think in the spirit: I can, I want, I. Losers, on the other hand, focus their scattered thoughts on what they could have, could do, or what they could not do. In other words, winners always take responsibility for themselves, and losers blame circumstances or other people for their failures. Denis Waitley.
Life is a mountain climbing slowly, descending quickly. Guy de Maupassant
People are so afraid to take a step towards a new life that they are ready to close their eyes to everything that does not suit them. But it’s even scarier: to wake up one day and realize that everything is not right, wrong, wrong ... Bernard Shaw
Friendship and trust cannot be bought or sold.
Always, in every minute of your life, even when you are absolutely happy, have one attitude towards the people around you: - In any case, I will do what I want, with or without you.
In the world, only one can choose between loneliness and vulgarity. Arthur Schopenhauer
One has only to look at things differently, and life will flow in a different direction.
The iron said to the magnet: most of all I hate you because you attract, not having enough strength to drag you along! Friedrich Nietzsche
Know how to live even when life becomes unbearable. N. Ostrovsky
The picture you see in your mind will eventually become your life.
“The first half of your life you ask yourself what you are capable of, but the second - and who needs it?”
It's never too late to set a new goal or find a new dream.
Control your destiny or someone else will.
see beauty in the ugly
to see rivers in the streams…
who knows how to be happy on weekdays,
that one right happy man! E. Asadov
The sage was asked:
How many types of friendship are there?
Four, he replied.
There are friends, like food - every day you need them.
There are friends, like medicine, you look for them when you feel bad.
There are friends, like a disease, they themselves are looking for you.
But there are such friends as air - they are not visible, but they are always with you.
I will become the person I want to be - if I believe that I will become one. Gandhi
Open your heart and listen to what it dreams about. Follow your dream, because only through the one who is not ashamed of himself will the glory of the Lord be manifested. Paulo Coelho
To be refuted is nothing to fear; one should be afraid of another - to be misunderstood. Immanuel Kant
Be realistic - demand the impossible! Che Guevara
Don't put off your plans if it's raining outside.
Don't give up on your dreams if people don't believe in you.
Go against nature, people. You are a person. You are strong.
And remember - there are no unattainable goals - there is a high coefficient of laziness, a lack of ingenuity and a stock of excuses.
Either you create the world, or the world creates you. Jack Nicholson
I love it when people just smile. You go, for example, on a bus and you see a person looking out the window or texting and smiling. It feels so good to the soul. And I want to smile too.
Most in women appreciate shyness. It is beautiful. The basis of femininity is not appearance, but an increased sense of shame and sympathy for others.
True wit is a quality so rare that many admire it, most aspire to it, all fear it, and if appreciate, so only in itself.
The nation that is not appreciates intelligence, doomed to perish. The history of the Russian intelligentsia is the history of Russian thought. (Book of Anxiety).
If the president appreciates the trust placed in him by the people, he has no right to betray him by refusing the presidential ribbon to save his own life.
Laugh often and willingly, gain respect intelligent people and affection of children, to achieve a fair assessment from objective critics and withstand the betrayal of imaginary friends, value beautiful and find the best in people, dedicate yourself to a worthy cause, leave the world behind you at least a little better by raising a healthy heir, growing a well-groomed garden or creating something good in social life, knowing that at least one living creature on earth has become easier breathe just because you lived on it - that's what it means to succeed.
Life should be enjoyed like fine wine, sip by sip, with respite. Even the best wine loses all charm for us, we stop it value when we drink like water.
Such is human nature: we never see our situation in its true light until we experience a situation even worse, and never appreciate the blessings we have until we lose them.
Life is a great blessing, and, as it turns out, it is very short for a person ... It has enough misfortunes, grief, drama, difficulties and troubles, and therefore it is necessary especially value moments of happiness and joy - they make people kind. When a person smiles, laughs, admires or sympathizes, he becomes purer and better.
