In each country, the dress code rules for women have their own differences, although in general the general canons are almost identical. To decide what to wear social event, you need to be guided by the unspoken laws regarding the clothing of the state where you are.
In most countries of the world, you can surprise others by appearing at a social event in a classic suit or at a cocktail party in full evening dress. The dress code is usually specified in the invitation.
You have received an invitation to an official reception, where the time and place of the event are indicated, and at the end - a delicate reminder of the recommended dress code: “Black tie”, “White tie”, “Extravaganza”, etc. This code for the insiders is secular dress - a code that tells you how to dress.
All secular amusements originated from ritual rites, where ceremonies took place slowly and followed a strict pattern.
Evening wear has always been designed to emphasize the exclusivity of the situation and the importance of the event. This is the case when, with the help of a special dress code at social events, it was necessary to demonstrate respect for the place and for the people, as well as for the whole society as a whole.
In our time, formal wear serves as a reminder of long-standing ceremonies and traditions. The country where the event takes place, the social level of the guests, their age also play an important role.
Compliance with the dress code is a manifestation of respect for yourself and the host. In addition, precisely formulated prescriptions regarding the appearance of those invited save you from much thought in front of a mirror.
What is the secular dress code
Speaking about what a secular dress code is, there are clothes for diplomatic, business and entertainment events.
Diplomatic events are organized according to special rules, only by people of high social status and diplomats. These events include formal formal dinners.
Social events are common mainly in Europe and the USA.
Breakfast. In French-speaking countries, it is called "petit dejeuner". The corresponding English term is "brunch", formed from the merger of two words: breakfast (breakfast) and lunch (lunch). Clothing - the usual urban style casual.
"Five-o-clock", five o'clock tea. From 16 to 18 hours. The meal is rather symbolic and may be accompanied by dancing. Clothes are normal, daytime.
Cocktail party. This is an impromptu party between 17:00 and 21:00. Guests usually stand, come and go as they please. There is no time commitment or greetings. There may be dancing.
Dancing party. The meaning of this technique is to dance.
Garden party. An event at which a table is laid in the garden, each person present independently takes food and drinks from it.
Dress code rules for women at social events
If you're successful in your career and use dance dinners, charity events, and other formal occasions as an opportunity to make the right connections in your circle, then evening formal wear is a must.
All official and social events are divided into daytime, taking place before 18.00, and evening, scheduled for 18.00 and later. Dressy clothes can also be divided according to the degree of formality of the event for which they are intended, and the time of day when the event takes place.
At the morning official reception, scheduled for 11 or 12 noon, they never wear dark evening dresses - only light ones.
The costume "day" ends at about 4 pm. The cocktail is arranged, as a rule, at 17 o'clock or later.
After 6:00 p.m., evening costumes are worn.
Day elegant clothes can be formal and semi-formal and are appropriate from 11 am to 4 pm: at daytime solemn official events, at weddings, christenings and other events associated with solemn ceremonies.
Daytime formal wear - a light-colored, classic-cut suit, consisting of a jacket and or.
Advice from Marten Bogaerts, a service expert with experience in royal houses, will help you feel like a real lady at the highest level of receptions.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the rules of etiquette. Seemingly simple things baffle, and you start to puzzle: how and what to say, how to walk and even how to stand. Yes, etiquette works in any situation, and good manners never go out of style. Advice from Marten Bogaerts, a service expert with experience in royal houses, five-star hotels and Michelin-starred restaurants, will help you feel like a real lady at the highest level of receptions.
Marten Bogarts
service expert with experience in royal houses, five-star hotels and Michelin-starred restaurants
Dress code for a social event
Appearance in itself - already a means of communication and the basis of the first impression. The choice of dress, of course, depends on the event, so you will be very lucky if the organizers indicate the type of dress code in the invitation. If this item is missing, it’s better to clarify: no one likes to be “under-” or too smartly dressed at an event. Let's look at the main types dress code.
cocktail- a short dress (preferably to the knees), complemented by accessories. There are cocktail dresses to suit all tastes these days, so don't be afraid to get creative, but make sure you don't go overboard with makeup, jewelry, or other accessories. Otherwise, you run the risk of looking vulgar and catchy, like a Christmas tree.
Black Tie and White Tie- two more types of dress code, implying the choice of a long dress. At the same time, White Tie is more formal and requires compliance with a number of formalities: shoulders must be covered, gloves on hands above the elbow, on the head - hat or tiara. Do not forget that the outfits of the lady and her gentleman should have something in common, for example, a tie in color dresses or cufflinks that match the color of the beads on the dress.
How to say hello
The impression of a person is formed in the first seconds of a meeting, which is why a confident but elegant greeting is so important. Handshakes are not always needed, but it is the woman who decides whether to extend her hand or not. Such a rule can be compared to the protocol in the royal families "do not speak until you are spoken to", that is, the king or queen decides whether they will talk to you. In Russia, all girls are princesses, so the right to decide remains with them.
Handshakes are appropriate in business meetings, but nothing compares to the graceful outstretched hand for a kiss. But such a greeting has nothing to do with a real kiss: bowing his head, the man simply brings his hand closer to his forehead. Lips in such a kiss, hands should not touch!
First meeting: how to make a good impression
According to etiquette and diplomatic protocol, in almost all cases, a woman is treated with reverence, and all the rules are aimed at glorifying her. I often ride Aeroexpress trains and watch men help girls get off the train or offer to carry things to the check-in counter. The same rule applies to dating. According to tradition, when introducing people to each other, they first turn to the most honorable person, so the introduction of a woman to a man will look like this: “Anna Ivanovna, let me introduce Vladimir Petrovich to you.” How splendid a charming lady looks, holding out her hand to a gentleman, who greets her with the same dignity and due respect. It is from these small details that the image and impression of a person are formed. Yeah, these little things don't rush in the eyes but they, consciously or not, will be noticed and appreciated.
Choosing topics for conversation
It is obvious that it is cold in winter and warm in summer, and that dullness and rain are not pleasant to anyone. conversations about the weather show that you no longer have interesting topics to talk about. Therefore, real ladies always have in reserve a couple of exciting topics and questions for discussion - such preparation helps out when the prospective interlocutor is not very inclined to start a conversation himself. It is considered good form to compliment the interlocutor along with or ask what he thinks about the event. Avoid talking about politics, money and religion because these topics can cause embarrassment on both sides. From time to time, look into the eyes of the interlocutor: it is considered extremely rude to be distracted by other people or not to look up from the phone. It’s better to put it in your purse altogether and not remember it until the end of the event, because you came to enjoy the company of living, not virtual people.
How to hold a business meeting
There are formal (related to work and business) and formal events. The latter suggest an invitation, where strict protocol rules are prescribed, as well as a solid knowledge of etiquette, if you do not want to get into an awkward situation. During formal events like a business lunch or a buffet table, the rules of etiquette change a little. Since the main focus is on business, the status of the director of the company will be higher regardless of gender. That is, it is to this person that the participants of the event are introduced. Women, however, retain the right to be the first to extend their hand in greeting. One rule always remains the same for events of any kind: the right side is the best. A woman always stands or sits on the right hand of a man, with the right hand we give business cards or we give gifts, we hold a glass of champagne in our right hand, but we shift it to our left hand if we want to say hello. Hint for men: if the woman continues to hold the glass in her right hand, there will be no handshake. These rules are also valid for lefties.
In the theater and at the concert: rules of conduct
Going to the theater is a great occasion to "walk" the evening toilet. Previously, both men and women spent a lot of time getting ready to visit the magnificent theaters, which are so many in Russia, but now, unfortunately, there are fewer and fewer people faithful to the tradition in the halls. But part of the enjoyment and pleasure of the hike is just to spend the evening in a beautifully decorated place in the company of educated and beautifully dressed people who sincerely love theatrical art. So insist that your companion dress up in a suit, feel free to put on a beautiful dress and jewelry, do your hair and show what a wonderful couple you are. Correct behavior during performances or concerts is also important, because a lot of things can interfere with the concentration of artists. Be sure to turn off your phone (even the vibration mode), don't think about coughing (thoughts are material) and give applause to the musicians only after they have finished playing. In classical music, there is often a pause between parts of pieces, but the silence that reigned in the hall at that moment does not mean at all that the orchestra is waiting for a standing ovation. How to understand that it is already possible to clap? The conductor steps down from the podium and turns to the audience, or the artists begin to bow, or the curtain closes. It is worth mentioning those concerts at which one inevitably wants to sing and dance. As a rule, they take place outside the walls of conservatories and music halls, but this does not mean that a real lady cannot visit them.
Of course, it is best to buy a ticket or get an invitation and get to the event for quite legal grounds. But what if the ticket price is too high, or if you don't have the right connections for a back label? There is an exit!
Where is my name?
State your name at the registration, and when it can't be found, start putting on a show.
Look surprised and embarrassed, show that you are confused and disappointed.
Usually the check-in manager feels sorry for people like you and they can print a badge and let you in. If they do not do this, this does not mean that they do not want to, perhaps they simply do not have enough authority. Ask to call one of the organizers, then say that you cannot believe in such a misunderstanding and it is very unpleasant for you to get into such a situation.
Tip: try to show your sympathy to the organizers, because you understand that large-scale events require great job and last minute mistakes can happen.
Attention, this tactic requires extraordinary acting skills.
A person who constantly visits or is just going to an official celebration needs knowledge of secular etiquette. And it doesn't matter if it's a visit to a private club or a semi-formal dinner, a reception at the embassy or a charity evening. Whatever the degree of pomp of the event, it should be fun, socializing, making friends, negotiating business projects and partnerships, and it is absolutely not good to show constraint, boredom or keep apart. In order to avoid everything unacceptable, you need to know the rules of secular etiquette. It is about them that the article will be discussed, and we will also talk about the types of dress code for such events, about the codes that are indicated on invitation cards, about the truth and misconceptions about secular parties.
Varieties
Social events are distinguished by their focus: diplomatic, business, entertainment (entertainment).
Diplomatic. These are events that are organized according to strict rules, only for people who occupy a high position, or diplomats. As a rule, formal formal dinners.
Business. They are organized to communicate with business partners, strengthen the image of the company, promote their products. This is, as a rule, a presentation of a product or service, a business reception, a business evening, and so on.
Recreational activities. It can be a party, birthday, corporate celebration. the main objective such parties - team building and informal friendly atmosphere.
Events in Europe and the USA
In the USA and Europe, the following types of official social events are common:
- Breakfast. In France, it is called petit dejeuner, in English-speaking countries - brunch (the term was formed using the two words breakfast and lunch, breakfast and lunch).
- Five o'clock tea. It is usually arranged from 4 to 6 pm, at such events the meal is purely symbolic, sometimes accompanied by dancing.
- Cocktail party. It is arranged from 17 to 21 hours, the invitees leave and come at their discretion. At such events, there are no rules on time and greetings, dances may be provided.
- Dancing party. The meaning of pastime is dancing.
- Garden party. At such an event, a table with snacks is set in the garden, each guest serves himself.
Rules of conduct at official receptions
Whatever the event, etiquette must be known in any case. There are a huge number of misconceptions about the norms of behavior. In order not to get into trouble, to know how and what to say, what to wear, how to stand, you need to know some rules of etiquette.
Here are tips from Bogaerts Marten (a service industry expert with experience in European royalty, five-star hotels and famous restaurants) to help you understand the intricacies of etiquette at social events.
Greetings. The first seconds of the meeting form the impression of a person, so an elegant and confident greeting is very important. At social events, handshakes are not always needed, the decision is made by the woman whether to shake hands or not. This unspoken rule can be compared to the protocol in royal houses (do not start talking until you are addressed, that is, it is the royal person who decides whether to speak or not). The same applies to women at any kind of events, it is they who must decide whether to give a handshake or not.
Handshakes will be appropriate at business meetings or corporate events.
Acquaintance. According to tradition, they first turn to a woman and ask permission to introduce a man to her, that is, it looks something like this: “Natalya Nikolaevna, let me introduce Lev Ivanovich to you.” And not vice versa.
Topics for conversations. Talking about the weather always indicates that there are no more interesting topics for conversation. It is always necessary to have in reserve a few interesting and exciting issues for society. This preparation helps out if the interlocutor is not very tuned in to the conversation.
Talking about religion, politics, finances, nationality of anyone should be avoided, as such topics can cause stiffness or awkwardness.
When talking, you should look your interlocutor in the eyes, not be distracted by other people and the phone.
Business meeting. If it is a formal, business or work-related event, then the focus is on the business. The status of the director of the company is higher, and that is why, regardless of gender and age, it will be he who will be the first to introduce all the other guests.
But they are unchanged general rules etiquette:
- the woman decides whether to shake hands or not;
- she always sits or stands at the right hand of a man;
- business cards, gifts are given with the right hand;
- they hold champagne in their right hand.
At a concert, at the theater, at the opera. Turning on the phone is considered a sign of bad taste, so the first thing to do is turn it off.
Applause should be given to the performers only after they have finished playing (this is the moment when the conductor leaves the podium and turns to the audience, and the artists begin to bow).
The appearance of a person is a means of communication and the first impression of him. The choice of dress or costume depends on the event, very often the type of dress code is indicated on the invitation. If this item is not specified, it is better to check the uniform with the organizers.
So, the main types of dress code:
| Dress code | What does | For a man | For woman | Event types |
| "White tie" is a men's suit for a special occasion. | A tailcoat with a butterfly, a pocket watch and patent leather shoes, white gloves. The vest is white (if it is black, they can be mistaken for a waiter). | long Evening Dress, high heel shoes, gloves, evening bag. Forbidden: loose hair, bare hands, jewelry. | Evening reception at the ambassador, president, marriage of the highest titled persons, etc. |
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| "Black tie". | Long evening or cocktail dress, costume jewelry is possible. | An official reception, a premiere at the Bolshoi Theatre, a wedding, etc. |
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| "Formal evening event" - means the same as the previous one, only sometimes it can involve a more creative approach and a fashionable look. | Dark formal suit and tie. | For a cocktail or long evening dress, suit. |
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| Black tie Invite | "Black tie welcome." | With this designation, it is preferable to wear a tuxedo. | A long dress, or a cocktail dress, or a fancy dress. | Dinner party in a restaurant, family or corporate event, etc. |
| Black tie Optional | "Black tie is optional." | Dark suit and tie. | Cocktail dress, fancy dress. |
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| Creatie Black tie | « Creativity or black tie. | A tuxedo with accessories, a classic tuxedo with a colorful vest, an informal tuxedo with a dark shirt. | Perhaps a short dress or set. |
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| "Cocktail". | dark suit | cocktail dress |
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| "Semi-formal". | A tuxedo is optional. For events after 18-00 - a dark suit. Until that time - a regular suit and tie. | After 18-00 - a cocktail dress, but not a long one, before that time - a suit or an ordinary elegant dress. |
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| “After five” - such a designation can be supplemented by A 5 Semi formal. | Not a business suit of any color without a tie. | Cocktail dress or dressy, dressy suit with a skirt or trousers. | Any event that starts after 5:00 pm. |
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| "Easy evening style". | Fashionable and trendy clothes famous brands or from designers, no tie. | An elegant suit or smart day dress. |
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| Casual or Informal | "Free style". | Consideration should be given to the nature of the event. | Corporate party, picnic, etc. |
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| "Business suit". | Ordinary business suit. | Business meeting suit. |
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| "Strict business suit." | Navy blue business suit with red tie. Shoes - black oxfords or derbies. | Blue, gray, or beige suit, white blouse, transparent stockings, suit-colored or black shoes, with heels (up to 5 cm). | Important business meeting or reception. |
It should be noted that in each country some dress code rules are different, although in general they are identical. To determine the outfit for a social event, you must be guided by the rules of the state where this event will take place.
The form of clothing, like many other nuances, is specified in the invitation (they are prescribed by the generally accepted names of dress codes, which are indicated in the table). For example, an invitation to an official reception: it indicates the date, time and place of the event, and at the end there is a note Creatie Black tie, which recommends certain style clothes. But this is not all the codes that may be in the invitation. Consider the most common of them.
Mysterious event code
In addition to a note about the form of clothing, other conventional signs can be found in the invitation (very often on English language). The most widespread of them:
- s. t. (from the Latin sine tempore) - which means to arrive at exactly the appointed time, without delay;
- c. t. (from the Latin cum tempore) - a delay is possible, but not more than 15 minutes;
- R. S. V. P. (from the French Re`pon se Sil Vous Plait) - means a request to answer and indicate your intention to attend. To ignore this request is to violate secular etiquette. Moreover, you need to answer on the eve of the start of the celebration.
In addition, if the invitation does not contain a note "for two persons" or the number of those present is not specified at all, then it is better to come unaccompanied.
It would be appropriate to bring a companion only to an entertainment event: a charity evening, concert, dinner, ball.
How to get to a social event
Major ceremonial events may have varying degrees of formality. But everyone needs an invitation. However, there are a number of ways to informally get to a social event. The Internet is full of information on how to do this. Here are some of the most common ways to informally attend an event:
- Through the service entrance. As a rule, all buildings have service or fire exits. At 90% of closed social events, security is not provided for every door. Therefore, many fans of closed parties try to get to them in this way.
- Name theft. When the registration desk is asked for a name, and the person who wants to attend the event peers into the list and says whatever he likes (works in cases where the registrar manager does not know everyone present by sight and there are lists of guests).
- Required contacts. They penetrate the badges of those who leave the event in advance (the method is suitable only for conferences, exhibitions, forums).
Myths and truth about social events
There are a number of myths and stereotypes that have developed about the events. Truth or fiction, let's try to figure it out.
Myth 1. “If you don’t want to attend the reception, there is always the opportunity to stay at home.”
In fact, this option should be used only in the most extreme cases. If called, it is better to visit. Life is very multifaceted, a situation may arise when it will be very necessary to go to one or another event, and invitations are no longer received.
Myth 2. "Every event is special."
In fact, they are all divided into important and not very important. You should not spend a lot of money and time if you were invited to the opening of a store or a presentation of nanopotatoes.
Myth 3. "The event is fun."
This is absolutely not true. A lot of people get bored even at the most fun parties. It all depends on the person himself and his views on life, and not on the program of the event and the host's jokes.
Myth 4. "You can eat there."
In fact, many prefer not to eat at social events or limit themselves to light snacks. Food can crumble, fall, drinks spill, stain clothes, and completely ruin your mood.
Myth 5. "Leaving first is indecent."
This is an erroneous misconception. Each event has a final part, after which it is quite possible to leave.
Instead of a conclusion
A person who is going to a social event or a party must know the rules of etiquette and certain traditions of the country in which the solemn event is organized. It should be remembered that such celebrations are accompanied by recommendations or requirements for clothing of a certain standard (often indicated in the invitation). There are unofficial dress code standards in the world that strictly regulate what to wear to a social event.
Solemn receptions can bring a lot of trouble, but also become a memorable bright event. The person himself decides what exactly his evening will be like.
