Communication with adults and peers at preschool age. Consultation for educators "Features of the development of communication of preschool children

AT preschool age in the life of a child, other children begin to occupy an increasing place. If at the end of early age, the need to communicate with peers is only being formalized, then preschooler She is already becoming one of the main ones.

Communication between preschoolers and peers has a number of significant features communication with adults.

The first and most important distinguishing feature is the wide variety of communicative actions and their extremely wide range. AT communication with peers one can observe many actions and appeals that are practically never found in contacts with adults. The child is arguing with peer, imposes his will, reassures, demands, orders, deceives, regrets and. etc. It is in communication with other children, for the first time such complex forms of behavior appear as pretense, the desire to pretend, express resentment, coquetry, fantasizing.

Second highlight peer communication lies in its extremely bright emotional richness. Increased emotionality and looseness of contacts preschoolers distinguishes them from interactions with adults. Actions aimed at peer, is characterized by a significantly higher affective orientation. AT communication with peers the child has 9-10 times more expressive-mimic manifestations, expressing a variety of emotional states- from furious indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy to anger.

Third specific peculiarity contacts of children lies in their non-standard and unregulated nature. If in communication with an adult, even the smallest children adhere to certain generally accepted norms of behavior, then when interacting with peer preschoolers use the most unexpected actions and movements. These movements are characterized special looseness, non-normalization, not specified by any samples: children jump, take bizarre poses, grimace, mimic each other, come up with new words and sound combinations, compose various fables, etc. etc. Such freedom suggests that peer society helps the child to express his original beginning. Naturally, with age children's contacts are increasingly subject to generally accepted rules of conduct. However, lack of regulation and looseness communication, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means remain hallmark children's communication until the end of preschool age.

Another one feature of peer communication- the predominance of initiative actions over response ones. Especially this is clearly manifested in the inability to continue and develop a dialogue, which breaks up due to the lack of responsible activity of the partner. For the child, his own action or statement is much more important, and the initiative peer in most cases it does not support. Sensitivity to the impact of a partner is significantly less in the sphere communicating with other children than with adults.

Thus, the listed peculiarities reflect the specifics of children's contacts throughout preschool age. However, the content communication change significantly from three to six to seven years.

AT preschool age significantly increases the importance of communication with peers, during which preschooler implements the norms and values ​​learned primarily communication with adults. peer is a partner in joint activities whose benevolent attention, respect and recognition becomes important to preschooler. There are three main types of motives communication between preschoolers and peers.

business motive, under the influence of which peer encourages the child to communication as a partner in practical interaction, children experience positive emotions from the very process of joint activity;

personal motive acting in the phenomenon "invisible mirror", i.e. the child sees in behavior peer attitude towards oneself and practically ignores everything else in it;

cognitive motive, under the influence of which communication with a peer as with equal to a child a being that can be used for the purpose of knowledge and self-knowledge.

AT preschool age all three types work. motives: the position of leaders in 3-4 years is occupied by business with clearly defined personal; 4-5 years - business and personal, cognitive, with an almost equal position of business and personal and with a close interweaving of personal and cognitive; at 6-7 years old - business and personal.

In the studies of M. I. Lisina and A. G. Ruzskaya, significant features of communication of a preschooler with peers, qualitatively distinguishing it from communication with an adult.

a wide variety of communicative actions and their wide range, which is determined by the rich functional composition peer communication and a wide variety of communication tasks;

strong emotional saturation, which is expressed in a large number of expressive-mimic manifestations and affective orientation of actions in relation to peer;

irregularity and irregularity communication of children, characterized special looseness, irregularity, actions, their lack of any samples, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means communication;

the predominance of initiative actions over response ones, which manifests itself in the inability to continue and develop a dialogue, which breaks up due to the lack of reciprocal activity of the partner and often causes conflicts, protests, and resentment.

There are three forms communication between preschoolers and peers: emotional-practical, situational-business and extra-situational-business.

Emotional-practical form communication between children and peers typical for children from two to four years. The child is waiting for peer complicity in their amusements and craves self-expression. It is necessary and sufficient for him to peer joined his pranks and, acting with him together or alternately, supported and strengthened general fun. Each participant of such an emotional-practical communication primarily concerned with drawing attention to himself and getting an emotional response from his partner. AT peer children perceive only the attitude towards themselves, and he himself (as a rule, they do not notice his actions, desires, moods. Emotional and practical communication extremely situational - both in its content and in the means of implementation. It depends entirely on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place, and on practical action partner. At this stage communication children is not yet connected with their objective actions and is separated from them. fixed assets communication children - locomotion or expressive-mimic movements.

Situational business uniform communication develops by about four years of age and remains most typical until the age of six age. At this time, the role-playing game becomes collective - children prefer to play together, and not alone. Communication with others in a role play unfolds as if for two levels: at the level of role-playing relationships and at the level of real ones, that is, existing outside the plot being played out. main content communication of children in the middle of preschool age becomes a business partnership. With situational business communication preschoolers are engaged in a common cause, they must coordinate their actions and take into account the activity of their partner in order to achieve overall result. This kind of interaction was called cooperation.

In the end preschool age many children develop an off-situational business uniform communication. Much increases the number of out-of-situ contacts. In that age becomes possible "pure communication» , not mediated by objects and actions with them. Children can talk for quite a long time without performing any practical actions. Between elders preschoolers there is an ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations, but also some extra-situational, psychological aspects its existence - desires, preferences, moods. By the end preschool age there are stable selective attachments between children, the first shoots of friendship appear. preschoolers"going to" in small groups (for 2-3 people) and show a clear preference for their friends. For preschool age the process of differentiation in the child's collective: some children become popular, others are rejected.

Thus, in preschool age there are significant changes in the content, motives and means communication with adults and peers, among which the transition to extra-situational forms and the predominance of speech means are common. All the factors facilitating communication of a preschooler with adults and peers in the form of joint activity, speech communication or only mental are the strongest stimulators of his mental development.

How is the process of communication in preschoolers

Interest in a peer in a child wakes up much later than in an adult, so the specifics of communication between preschoolers and peers differs in many respects from communication with adults. It is at preschool age that the first stage of the team is formed - the "children's society".
Contacts with peers are more vividly emotionally saturated, accompanied by sharp intonations, screams, antics, and laughter. In contacts with other children, there are no strict norms and rules that should be observed when communicating with an adult. In communication with peers, children are more relaxed, say unexpected words, mimic each other, showing creativity and imagination. In contacts with comrades, proactive statements predominate over reciprocal ones. It is much more important for a child to express himself than to listen to another. And as a result, a conversation with a peer often fails, because everyone talks about his own, not listening and interrupting each other. Communication with peers is richer in purpose and functions than with adults. The actions of the child, aimed at peers, are more diverse. Communicating with comrades, the preschooler controls the actions of the partner, controls them, making comments, teaches, showing or imposing his own pattern of behavior, activities and comparing other children with himself. In an environment of peers, the baby demonstrates his abilities and skills.
According to G.A. Uruntaeva, during the preschool age, three forms of communication with peers develop, replacing each other. Consider them:
Among the various contacts with peers, the infant most often has direct, emotional, reflecting a wide range of experiences. In the second half of the first year of life, complex forms of behavior (imitation, joint games) are formed, acting as subsequent stages in the development of the need for communication with peers. By the age of 12 months, business contacts are formed for the first time in the form of joint subject-practical and game actions. This is where the foundation for subsequent full-fledged communication with peers is laid.
The final part of contacts with comrades is aimed at getting to know them as an interesting object. Infants are often not limited to the contemplation of a peer, but strive to actually study the object of interest to them. They behave with peers as with an interesting toy. Communication in the full sense is still absent, only its prerequisites are being laid.
At the age of 1 year to 1.5 years the content of contacts remains the same as in infants. Joint actions of babies are very rare and quickly disintegrate. Children cannot coordinate their desires and do not take into account the state of each other.
At 1.5 years there is a change in relationships with peers. Initiative actions are being developed in order to interest a peer. At the same time, sensitivity to the attitude of comrades develops. A feature in communication is that from 1.5 to 2 years old the child looks at (a peer as an object. There is a barrier to perception. The first reaction to a peer is an anxiety reaction. Fear of a peer lasts up to 2.3-2.6 years - this is an indicator of the development of communication.
By 2 years the first form of communication with peers is developing - emotional and practical. The content in the need for communication lies in the fact that the child expects complicity from his peers in his pranks, fun and strives for self-expression. The motives of communication are the focus of children on self-identification. At this age, the child learns to respond to the influences of another child, but there is a mirror effect in communication. Speech communication develops, which leads to the formation of groups. These groups are situational, short-lived, arising from activity. The stability of groups depends on the external qualities of the partner.
Ages 4 to 6 preschoolers have a situational-business form of communication with their peers. At 4 years old, the need to communicate with peers is put forward in one of the first places. The content of the need for communication is the desire for recognition and respect. Children use a variety of means of communication, and despite the fact that they talk a lot, speech remains ^ still situational.
An extra-situational-business form of communication is observed quite rarely, in a small number of children of 6-7 years old, but in older preschoolers there is a clear trend towards its development.
Features of communication with peers are clearly manifested in the topics of conversation. What preschoolers talk about makes it possible to trace what they value in their peers and through what they assert themselves in his eyes.
At senior preschool age communication depends on personal qualities. At the same time, the first groups are not differentiated, there are no status provisions, and therefore they are easily manipulated by adults. As soon as the groups become more or less stable, a status position appears: the leader is the person who organizes the activities of the group; star - the one who likes more; referent - with the opinion of whom everyone is considered. The criteria for evaluating a leader are set by an adult. The leader necessarily has a social standard that underlies his behavior. He brings the energy of the group together and leads it along ( internal characteristic). External characteristics include a certain level of collective and behavioral knowledge and skills. Has a beautiful or bright appearance, sociable, emotional, as a rule, has some ability, independent, neat. He is motivated to communicate. He organizes communication.
Only external qualities are popular with a star, motivation for communication is developed, there is a presence of open emotions. Both the leader and the star and the referent belong to the group of popular children. Popularity is determined by the following criteria:
1. a large number of appeals to them;
2. his proposal is always responded to;
3. interaction with him brings positive emotions;
4. they know him well, they recognize him in the photo, they know the facts from his biography;
5. he is always evaluated positively.
There are also groups and unpopular children. They can be active and passive. Passive - those who have no motivation to communicate, high degree anxiety, uncertainty. They do not know how to communicate and do not suffer from this. Active - those who have the motivation to communicate, but do not have the ability to communicate. If they communicate, then for the sake of occupying some status place in the group. This includes children with incorrect sexual differentiation, with internal anxiety, children with ignorance of the activity they are engaged in, with a low threshold of emotions (fat, unkempt, clumsy).
Thus, it is in the older preschool age that children have an acute need for communication with their peers. Children talk a lot about themselves, about what they like or dislike. They share their knowledge, "plans for the future" with their peers.

Summary: Communication of the child with peers. Age features of communication of a preschooler with peers. Why do children fight? Where does friendship begin?

At preschool age, other children of the same age are firmly and forever included in the life of a child. A complex and sometimes dramatic picture of relationships unfolds between preschoolers. They make friends, quarrel, reconcile, get offended, jealous, help each other, and sometimes do small "dirty things". All these relationships are acutely experienced and carry a lot of different emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in the sphere of children's relations is much higher than in the sphere of communication with an adult. Parents are sometimes unaware of the wide range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, of course, do not attach much importance to children's friendship, quarrels, and insults.

Meanwhile, the experience of the first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child's personality is built. This first experience largely determines the nature of a person's relationship to himself, to others, to the world as a whole. It doesn't always work out well. In many children already at preschool age, a negative attitude towards others is formed and consolidated, which can have very sad long-term consequences. It is the most important task of parents to identify the problematic forms of the child's relationship to peers in time and help to overcome them. To do this, it is necessary to know the age characteristics of children's communication, the normal course of development of communication with peers.

How babies communicate

Communication of younger preschoolers is completely different from their communication with adults. They talk differently, look at each other, behave differently.

The first thing that catches your eye is the extremely bright emotional richness of children's communication. They literally cannot talk calmly - they scream, squeal, laugh, rush about, scare each other and at the same time choke with delight. Increased emotionality and looseness significantly distinguishes children's contacts from their interaction with adults. In the communication of peers, there are approximately 10 times more vivid expressive-mimic manifestations expressing a variety of emotional states: from furious indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy to a fight.

Another one important feature contacts of children lies in the non-standard of their behavior and in the absence of any rules and decency. If in communication with an adult, even the smallest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with their peers, babies use the most unexpected and unpredictable sounds and movements. They jump, take bizarre poses, make faces, mimic each other, crackle, croak and bark, come up with unimaginable sounds, words, fables, etc. Such eccentricities bring them unbridled gaiety - and the more wonderful, the merrier. Naturally, such manifestations annoy adults - one would like to stop this disgrace as soon as possible. It seems that such senseless fuss only disturbs the peace, of course, has no benefit and has nothing to do with the development of the child. But if all children of preschool age, at the first opportunity, make faces and mimic each other again and again, does it mean that they need it for something?

What gives preschoolers such strange communication?

Such freedom, unregulated communication of preschoolers allows the child to show his initiative and originality, his original beginning. It is very important that other children quickly and with pleasure pick up the child's initiative, multiply it and return it in a transformed form. For example, one shouted, the other shouted and jumped - and both laughed. Identical and unusual actions bring kids self-confidence and bright, joyful emotions. In such contacts, young children experience an incomparable sense of their similarity with others. After all, they jump and croak in the same way and at the same time experience a common immediate joy. Through this community, recognizing and multiplying themselves in their peers, children try and assert themselves. If an adult carries culturally normalized patterns of behavior for a child, then a peer creates conditions for individual, non-standardized, free manifestations. Naturally, with age, children's contacts are more and more subject to generally accepted rules of conduct. However, special looseness, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means, remains a hallmark of children's communication until the end of preschool age, and perhaps even later.

At a younger preschool age, the child expects complicity from his peers in his amusements and craves self-expression. It is necessary and sufficient for him that a peer joins his pranks and, acting together or alternately with him, supports and enhances the general fun. Each participant in such communication is primarily concerned with attracting attention to himself and getting an emotional response from his partner. Communication between toddlers depends entirely on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place, and on what the other child is doing and what he has in his hands.

Characteristically, the introduction of an attractive object into the situation of children's communication can destroy their interaction: they switch their attention from their peers to the object or fight over it. Everyone knows the "showdown" in the sandbox, when two kids cling to one car and drag it screaming in their own direction. And mothers at the same time convince the kids not to quarrel and play together, together. But the trouble is that kids still don’t know how to play toys together. Their communication is not yet connected with objects and with the game. A new interesting toy for a baby is a more attractive item than his peers. Therefore, the object, as it were, covers another child, the baby's attention is attracted to the toy, and the peer is perceived as a hindrance. It is a completely different matter when there are no such distracting objects, when there is "pure communication" between the kids - here they are united in general fun and enjoy the company of their peers.

Although children perceive their peers in a very peculiar way. Most younger preschoolers are characterized by an indifferent attitude towards another child. Three-year-old children, as a rule, are indifferent to the success of their peers and to their assessment by an adult. The support and recognition of an adult is much more important to them than another child. The kid, as it were, does not notice the actions and states of his peer. He does not remember his name and even appearance. In principle, he doesn’t care who he messes with and rushes about, it is important that he (the partner) be the same, act and experience the same. Thus, the peer does not yet play a significant role in the life of younger preschoolers.

At the same time, its presence increases the overall emotionality and activity of the child. This is expressed primarily in the joy and even delight with which the baby imitates the movements and sounds of his peers, in his desire to be close to them. The ease with which three-year-olds become infected with shared emotional states is indicative of the special commonality that develops between young children. They feel their similarity, their belonging to a common genus. "You and I are of the same blood," they seem to say to each other with their antics and jumps. This commonality is also expressed in the fact that they willingly look for and delightfully discover similarities in each other: the same tights, the same mittens, the same sounds and words, etc. Such feelings of community, connections with others are very important for the normal development of communication and self-awareness. child. They form the foundation of the child's relationship to other people, create a sense of belonging to others, which further relieves from the painful experiences of loneliness. In addition, such communication with others helps the little person to better identify and realize himself. By repeating the same movements and sounds, children reflect each other, become a kind of mirror in which you can see yourself. The child, "looking at a peer," sort of singles out specific actions and qualities in himself.

It turns out that, despite its "unruly" and, it would seem, senselessness, such emotional communication is very useful. Of course, if such fun and pranks prevail in the communication of 5-6-year-old children, this is already abnormal. But at 2-4 years old, one cannot deprive a child of the joy of direct emotional interaction with peers.

However, for parents this kind of childish joys are very tiring, especially in an apartment where there is nowhere to hide and where children's running around threatens both property and the children themselves. To avoid tensions, it is possible to give children's communication a calmer and more cultural form, without violating its psychological essence. All games in which children act in the same way and at the same time are suitable for such communication. These are numerous round dance games ("Bunny", "Carousels", "Bubble", "Loaf", etc.), as well as games of any animals - frogs, birds, bunnies, where kids jump together, croak, chirp, etc. Such amusements are usually enthusiastically accepted by children and, in addition to pure childish joy, carry with them an organizing and developing principle.

At the age of 3-4, communication with peers brings mostly joyful emotions. But later, more complex and not always rosy relationships arise.

Why do children fight?

In the middle of preschool age, a decisive change occurs in relation to peers. The picture of interaction between children is changing significantly. After four years, communication (especially in children attending Kindergarten) with a peer becomes more attractive to communicate with an adult and takes an increasing place in the life of a child. Preschoolers already quite consciously choose the society of peers. They clearly prefer to play together (rather than alone), and other children become more attractive partners than adults.

Along with the need to play together, a child of 4-5 years old usually has a need for peer recognition and respect. This natural need creates a lot of problems in the relationship of children and causes many conflicts. The child does his best to attract the attention of others, sensitively catches signs of attitude towards himself in their glances and facial expressions, demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches of partners. For a child, his own action or statement is much more important, and in most cases the initiative of a peer is not supported by him. This is especially evident in the inability to continue and develop the dialogue, which falls apart due to the inability to hear the partner. Everyone talks about his own, shows his achievements and does not react at all to the statements of his partner. Here, for example, is a typical conversation between two little friends:

My doll has a new dress.
- And my mother bought slippers, look ...
- And my doll is better than yours - her hair is so long and you can braid it.
- And I'm tying my bows. I already know how to tie bows, but you can't.
- And I can draw a princess with bows ...

What's going on here? It would seem that the girls are playing. But in every phrase of their conversation there is always an “I”: I have, I can, mine is better, etc. Children, as it were, brag to each other about their skills, virtues, property. It is important not only to have all these advantages, but to demonstrate them to a peer, and in such a way that at least in something (and better in everything) to surpass a partner. A new thing or toy that cannot be shown to anyone loses half of its attractiveness.

The fact is that a small child needs confidence that he is the best, most beloved. This confidence is completely justified, since it reflects the attitude of close adults towards him, for whom he is always "the very best", especially while he is small. Mom or grandmother does not need to prove that he is the best. But as soon as the baby is among children, this truth ceases to be so obvious. And he has to prove his right to uniqueness and superiority. A variety of arguments are suitable for this: slippers, bows, and doll hair. But behind all this is: "Look how good I am!" A peer is needed in order to have someone to compare yourself with (otherwise, how can you show that you are the best?), And in order to have someone to show your property and your advantages.

It turns out that preschoolers see in others, first of all, themselves: an attitude towards themselves and an object for comparison with themselves. And the peer himself, his desires, interests, actions, qualities are completely unimportant: they are simply not noticed and not perceived. Rather, they are perceived only when the other begins to interfere, behaves not as we would like.

And immediately the partner evokes a harsh and unambiguous assessment: “Don’t push, idiot!”, “You’re a greedy bastard,” “Fool, this is my car,” etc. Children reward each other with such epithets even with the most harmless actions: don’t give a toy - it means you are greedy, you are doing something wrong - it means you are a fool. And preschoolers openly and directly express all these discontents to their little comrade. But a friend needs something completely different! He also needs recognition, approval, praise! But it is very difficult to praise or approve a peer at this age.

It turns out that, feeling the need for recognition and admiration of others, the children themselves do not want and cannot express approval to another, their peer, they simply do not notice his merits. This is the first and main reason for endless children's quarrels.

At the age of 4-5, children often ask adults about the successes of their comrades, demonstrate their advantages, and try to hide their mistakes and failures from their peers. In children's communication at this age, a competitive, competitive beginning appears. The "invisibility" of a peer turns into a keen interest in everything that he does. The successes and failures of others acquire special significance for the child. In any activity, children closely and jealously observe the actions of their peers, evaluate them and compare them with their own. Children's reactions to an adult's assessment - whom he will praise, and whom, perhaps, he will scold - also become more acute and emotional. The successes of a peer in many children can cause grief, but his failures can be an undisguised joy. At this age, such difficult experiences arise as envy, jealousy, resentment towards a peer. Of course, they complicate the relationship of children and become the reason for numerous children's conflicts.

So, we see that in the middle of preschool age there is a profound qualitative restructuring of the child's relationship to his peers. The other child becomes the subject of constant comparison with himself. This comparison is not aimed at discovering commonality (as with three-year-olds), but at opposing oneself and the other. It is important for everyone to show that he is at least something better than others - he jumps better, draws better, solves problems, possesses the best things etc. Such a comparison primarily reflects changes in the child's self-awareness. Through comparison with a peer, he evaluates and asserts himself as the owner of certain virtues that are important not in themselves, but "in the eyes of another." This other for a 4-5-year-old child becomes a peer. All this gives rise to numerous conflicts of children and such phenomena as boasting, demonstrativeness, competitiveness. Some children literally get stuck in negative experiences and seriously suffer if someone surpasses them in something. Such experiences can become a source of many serious problems in the future, which is why it is very important to "slow down" the impending wave of envy, jealousy and boasting in time. At preschool age, this can be done through the joint activities of children, and above all through the game.

This age is the heyday of the role-playing game. At this time, the game becomes collective - children prefer to play together, and not alone. The main content of the communication of children in the middle of preschool age is now in a common cause or business cooperation. Cooperation should be distinguished from complicity. The younger children, as we have already noted, acted simultaneously and in the same way, side by side, but not together. It was important for the kids to share their emotions and repeat the movements of their peers. In business communication, when preschoolers are engaged in a common business, they must coordinate their actions and take into account the activity of their partner in order to achieve a common result. Here it is completely unacceptable to repeat the actions or words of another, because everyone has their own role. Most role-playing games are designed so that each role involves a partner: if I am a doctor, I need a patient; if I am a seller, then I need a buyer, etc. Therefore, cooperation, coordination of actions with a partner is a necessary condition for a normal game.

In a role-playing game, there is absolutely no reason to compete and compete - after all, all participants have a common task that they must complete together. It is no longer so important for children to assert themselves in the eyes of their peers; it's much more important to play together to make a good game, or a nice doll room, or a big brick house. It does not matter who built this house. The main thing is the result that we achieve together. Thus, it is necessary to shift the interests of the child from self-affirmation as the main meaning of his life to joint activities with other children, where the main thing is the overall result, and not his personal achievements. Creating the conditions for common game and by joining the efforts of children to achieve common purpose, you will help the child get rid of many personality problems.

However, for many five-year-old children, the heightened need for peer recognition and respect is only an age-related feature. By the older preschool age, the attitude towards peers again changes significantly.

Where does friendship begin?

By the age of 6-7, preschool children have a significant increase in friendliness towards peers and the ability to help each other. Of course, the competitive, competitive beginning persists for life. However, along with this, in the communication of older preschoolers, the ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations: what he has and what he does, but also some psychological aspects of the partner’s existence: his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers now not only talk about themselves, but also ask questions to their peers: what he wants to do, what he likes, where he was, what he saw, etc. An interest in the personality of a peer is awakened, not related to his specific actions.

By the age of 6, many children have an immediate and disinterested desire to help a peer, give him something or give in something. Malevolence, envy, competitiveness appear less frequently and not as sharply as at the age of five. Significantly also increases during this period emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of a peer. It is important for children what and how the other child does (what he plays, what he draws, what books he watches), not in order to show that I am better, but just because this other child becomes interesting in itself. Sometimes, even contrary to accepted rules, they seek to help another, suggest the correct move or answer. If 4-5-year-old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of a peer, then 6-year-old boys, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their "opposition" to an adult, defend or justify him. For example, when an adult negatively assessed one boy (or rather, his construction from a designer), another boy defended his friend: "He knows how to build well, he just hasn't finished yet, just wait, and he will do well".

All this indicates that the thoughts and actions of older preschoolers are directed not only to a positive assessment of an adult and not only to emphasizing their own advantages, but also directly to another child, to make him feel better.

Many children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. So, for example, they rejoice when a kindergarten teacher praises their friend, and get upset or try to help when something does not work out for him. A peer, thus, becomes for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and an object of comparison with himself, not only a preferred partner, but also a valuable person, important and interesting, regardless of his achievements and his toys.

Children become interested in what the other child is experiencing and prefers:

Are you hurt? Are you hurt?
- Do you miss your mother?
- Do you want to bite an apple?
- Do you like transformers?
- What cartoons do you like?

Such questions of six-year-old children, for all their naivete and simplicity, express not only interest in the activities or in the "property" of a peer, but attention to the child himself and even concern for him. A peer is now not only an object for comparison with oneself and not only a partner in an exciting game, but also a valuable, significant human personality with its own experiences and preferences.

In older preschool age, children are increasingly doing something on purpose for another, in order to help him or somehow make him better. They themselves understand this and can explain their actions:

I agreed to play with these dolls, because Katya loves to play with them very much.
- I grunted so much, because I wanted to make Olya laugh, she was sad.
- I wanted Sasha to draw a good car as soon as possible, and therefore I chose sharp pencils and gave him ...

In all these explanations, the other child is no longer a competitor or opponent, he is an original personality: he loves something, rejoices in something, wants something. It is very important that children think not only about how to help another, but also about his moods and desires; they sincerely want to bring joy and pleasure to another. Friendship begins with such attention to the other, with care for him.

At the older preschool age, the attitude towards peers becomes more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of the interaction. By the end of preschool age, strong selective attachments arise between children, the first shoots of true friendship appear. Preschoolers gather in small groups (2-3 people each) and show a clear preference for their friends. They care most about their friends, prefer to play with them, sit next to the table, go for a walk, etc. Friends tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans or preferences, evaluate qualities and the actions of others. Question: "Who are you friends with?" becomes commonplace and almost obligatory. As well as the phrases: "I'm no longer friends with you", "Nadya and I are friends, but not with Tanya", etc. love between boys and girls. On this basis, real dramas of small "betrayals", "betrayals" and, conversely, manifestations of loyalty and selflessness unfold. But that is another topic.

It is important for us now to emphasize that the above sequence of development of communication and attitudes towards peers in preschool age is by no means always realized in the development of specific children. It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in a child's attitude towards peers, which largely determine his well-being, position among others, and, ultimately, the characteristics of personality development.

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Communication is one of the most important factors in the overall mental development of a child. Only in contact with adults is it possible for children to assimilate the socio-historical experience of mankind.

Development communication between a child and an adult from birth to 7 years M.I. Lisina imagined it as a change of several integral forms of communication.

1st form of communication - Situational-personal communication - characteristic of infancy. Communication at this time depends on the characteristics of the momentary interaction between the child and the adult, it is limited by the narrow framework of the situation in which the needs of the child are met. Direct emotional contacts are the main content of communication, since the main thing that attracts a child is the personality of an adult, and everything else, including toys, goes by the wayside.

2 form of communication - situational - business conversation- characteristic of early age.

The need for cooperation is the basis for situational business communication. In it, the child masters objective actions, learns to use everyday objects. He begins to show activity and independence. He becomes the subject of his activity, feels independent of an adult and free in his actions, the child's speech develops.

The first two forms of communication were situational, because the main content of this communication was directly present in a particular situation. The content of the following forms of communication is no longer limited to the visual situation, but goes beyond it.

The emergence of extra-situational communication significantly expands the horizons of the life world of a preschooler. Extra-situational communication becomes possible only due to the fact that the child masters the active speech.

Preschool age is characterized by the following forms of communication: 3. extra-situational-cognitive and 4. extra-situational-personal.

Let's consider them in more detail.

3. Extra-situational-cognitive communication develops by 4-5 years, as evidenced by questions, addressed to an adult. An adult becomes for preschoolers the main source of new knowledge about events, objects and phenomena occurring around. Despite the simplicity and accessibility, the answers of an adult should not distort reality. The main thing is that an adult answers the questions of children. So that their interests do not go unnoticed. The fact is that in preschool age a new need is formed - need for adult respect. The child is no longer enough simple attention and cooperation with an adult. He needs serious respectful attitude to his questions, interests and actions. The need for respect, for recognition by adults becomes the main need that encourages the child to communicate.

4. Extra-situational-personal form of communication the most difficult and highest in preschool age. Begins to form by 6-7 years. Over time, the attention of preschoolers is increasingly attracted by events taking place among the people around them. Human relations, norms of behavior, qualities of individuals begin to interest the child even more than the life of animals or natural phenomena. It is important for children to understand the requirements of adults, to establish themselves in their rightness. Therefore, in the older preschool age, children prefer to talk with adults not on cognitive topics, but on personal topics related to people's lives. It is very important for a child to evaluate certain qualities and actions (both his own and others) and it is important that his attitude to certain events coincide with the attitude of an adult. The commonality of views and assessments is for the child an indicator of their correctness. The need for understanding and empathy of an adult- a distinctive feature of the personal form of communication. To support the child's desire to be good, it will be much more useful to encourage his right actions and positive qualities than to condemn the child's shortcomings. After all, it is very important for a child to be good, to do everything right.

Extra-situational-personal communication exists independently and is a “pure communication” that is not included in any other activity. It is motivated personal motives when the other person is attracted to the child by itself.

The meaning of this form of communication is as follows:

1. The child learns the norms and rules of behavior and begins to consciously follow them in his actions and deeds.

2. children learn to see themselves as if from the outside, which is necessary condition conscious control of their behavior.

3. children learn to distinguish between the roles of different adults and, in accordance with this, build their relationships in different ways in communicating with them.

Communication of a preschooler becomes more complex, this is facilitated by a higher level of development of thinking, imagination, speech and other mental processes. In preschool childhood, there is a transition to extra-situational forms of communication, i.e. beyond the immediate perception of the situation. The child becomes able to communicate about various objects and phenomena that are absent in the field of perception.

M. I. Lisina highlighted two forms of communication with adults at preschool age: extra-situational-cognitive and extra-situational-personal(Table 8.2).

Extra-situational-cognitive form of communication with adults develops in the first half of preschool age (3-4 years). It is connected not with practical cooperation with adults, but with "theoretical". Preschoolers begin to ask adults a large number of questions, due to their growing cognitive needs. With your questions "why?", "why?", "how?" preschoolers seek to identify various aspects of phenomena, to establish connections between them. The questions are random and varied: "Why do the trees make noise?", "Where does the water flow in the river?", "Where does the rain come from?", "What is the sun?" etc. The leading motive of the extra-situational-cognitive form of communication is cognitive, and the adult acts as a source of knowledge about the surrounding reality. The main means of this form of communication are speech operations, since they allow you to go beyond the directly perceived situation. The non-situational-cognitive form of communication is characterized by the desire of a preschooler to respect his adults, which is expressed in increased resentment and sensitivity of children to comments, an intense emotional response to them.

Table 8.2

Forms of communication between a child and an adult at preschool age

By the end of preschool age, it develops highest level development of communication for preschool age - non-situational form of communication. It differs from the extra-situational-cognitive form in that its content is the world of people, which is outside objects. Children talk about themselves, their parents, rules of conduct, etc. The leading motive is personal. An adult, who is the main motivator of communication, acts as a holistic person with knowledge, skills and social and moral standards. Extra-situational-personal communication is not a side of any other activity, but is an independent value. Children are characterized by a desire to earn the benevolent attention and respect of an adult, his mutual understanding and empathy. Speech operations are also a means of communication. Extra-situational-personal communication of a child with an adult performs important role for the conscious assimilation of norms and rules of behavior by children, for the development of self-awareness and self-control, for the differentiated building of relationships with adults, depending on their social roles.

At preschool age, the importance of communication with peers increases significantly, during which the child implements the norms and values ​​learned in communication with adults. A peer is a partner in joint activities, whose benevolent attention, respect and recognition becomes important for a preschooler.

Practical example

In an experimental study by L. B. Miteva, conducted under the guidance of M. I. Lisina, it was proved that the communication of a child with an adult is ahead of the communication of a child with a peer in terms of its level of development. Age dynamics shows that younger child, the greater the gap between the level of communication with an adult and with a peer, by the end of preschool age, the level of communication of children in both areas is somewhat closer, but at the same time, communication with an adult in terms of basic parameters is ahead of the corresponding indicators of communication of peers. This indicates that communication with an adult, setting the "zone of proximal development", leads to communication with peers.

There are three main types of motives for communication between preschoolers and peers. :

• business motive, under the influence of which a preschooler encourages a peer to communicate as a partner in practical interaction, both have positive emotional states from the very process of joint activity;
• personal motive, which manifests itself in the phenomenon of the "invisible mirror", i.e. a preschooler sees in the actions of a peer an attitude towards himself and almost does not notice everything else in him;
• educational motive, under the influence of which communication with a peer is carried out as with a partner equal to the child, which can be used to develop cognition and self-knowledge.

At preschool age, all three types of motives operate: the position of leaders at three or four years is occupied by business ones with clearly defined personal ones; at four or five years old - business and personal with the dominance of the former; at five or six years old - business, personal, cognitive, with an almost equal position of business and personal and with a close interweaving of personal and cognitive; at six or seven years old - business and personal.

M. I. Lisina and A. G. Ruzskaya highlighted the features of communication between preschoolers and peers, which differ significantly from their communication with adults (Fig. 8.2):

• a wide variety and wide range of communicative actions, which is due to the extensive functional composition of peer communication and the variety of communicative tasks;
• intense emotional saturation, which is expressed in a large number of expressive-mimic manifestations and emotional orientation of actions in relation to a peer;
• non-standard and irregular communication of children, looseness and irregularity of actions, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means of communication;
• the dominance of initiative actions over response ones, which manifests itself in the inability to continue and develop a dialogue that can break up due to the lack of a response and cause conflicts.

Rice. 8.2.

There are three forms of communication between preschoolers and peers: emotional-practical, situational-business and out-of-situation-business.

Emotionally-practical form of communication children with peers is typical between the ages of two and four years. With this form of communication, the child, first of all, expects participation in his games from his peers and strives for self-expression. For a preschooler, it is enough that a peer joins his fun and, acting with him, supports and enhances the general fun. Any participant in such emotional and practical communication seeks to draw attention to himself and receive an emotional response from his partner. In a peer, children perceive only the attitude towards themselves, and the actions, desires, moods of a communication partner most often do not notice. Emotional and practical communication is situational in content and means: it completely depends on the specific situation of interaction and on the practical actions of a peer. The appearance of an attractive object in a communication situation of younger preschoolers can disrupt the interaction of children: they switch their attention to this object, they can start fighting over it. The main means of such communication are locomotion or expressive-mimic movements. After three years of communication, children increasingly use speech, but it remains very situational and can only be a means of communication with eye contact and expressive movements.

Situational-business form of communication develops around the age of four and remains most typical until older preschool age. After the age of four, for preschoolers (especially those who go to kindergarten), the attractiveness of a peer as a communication partner begins to surpass the attractiveness of an adult and fulfill all big role in their life. Along with this, the role-playing game begins to acquire a collective character - children like to play together more than one at a time. Communication with others in a role-playing game is carried out at two levels: at the level of game relationships and at the level of real relationships that exist outside the game plot (children agree on the distribution of game roles, discuss the conditions of the game, evaluate and control the actions of others and etc.). Joint gaming activity constantly involves the transition from one level to another.

The main content of children's communication in the middle of preschool age is business cooperation. In the process of situational business communication, children are busy with a common cause, they need to coordinate their actions with other partners and take into account their activity in order to obtain a common result. Such interaction can be called cooperation, the need for which becomes very significant for the communication of children. In addition to the need for cooperation, the need for peer recognition and respect is also clearly manifested. In the communication of preschoolers with their peers, elements of competition and competitiveness begin to appear. Among the means of communication at this stage, speech means begin to dominate.

At the end of preschool, many (but not all) children develop non-situational business form of communication, the number of out-of-situ contacts increases significantly. At this stage, one can single out "pure communication" that is not associated with specific objects and actions with them. Preschoolers can communicate for quite a long time without performing any practical actions. Nevertheless, despite the growing trend towards out-of-situation, communication between children at senior preschool age is carried out against the background of joint activities, i.e. common games, drawing, modeling, etc. Competitiveness and competitiveness are preserved in the relationships of children. Between older preschoolers, there arises the ability to see in a communication partner not only his situational characteristics, but also certain extra-situational, psychological aspects of his personality - desires, interests, moods.

By the end of preschool age, stable selective attachments are formed between children, the first prerequisites for friendships arise. Older preschoolers unite in small groups (two or three people each) and express a clear preference for their friends. Throughout preschool age, differentiation in the children's team increases: some preschoolers become popular, preferred, while others are rejected. The status of a child in a peer group is influenced by a large number of factors, the most significant of which is the ability to empathize and help peers.

Thus, at preschool age there are significant changes in the content, motives and means of communication with adults and peers, among which the transition to extra-situational forms and the predominance of speech means are common. All the factors that contribute to the communication of a preschooler with adults and peers in the form of joint activity, verbal communication or only mental communication are the strongest stimulators of his mental development.