How to succeed in anfisa career. Five secrets of a successful female career

What distinguishes a successful woman? She doesn't have to have own business She may be married or she may be single. A successful woman is a happy woman. She knows what she is striving for and goes to her goals. How to become one of these ladies? Let's uncover the secrets of successful women.

Obstacles to Success

First of all, you need to understand what is stopping you from achieving your goals. Most often it is fear and indecision. Many girls and women are familiar with the fear of showing strength, perseverance and perseverance. This is due to the peculiarities of upbringing and socialization, which often impose a passive and led role on girls.

The main deterrents to development are stereotypes and comparisons. Getting rid of imposed ideals is the first step to success. Getting married, having several children and standing at the stove is no longer the standard of female happiness. Also, be careful with comparisons. There is no need to look for enviable traits in girlfriends or acquaintances, and even more so to listen to those who set you as an example of “exemplary”, in his opinion, women.

Before becoming successful, it is important to remember that every girl is unique. Only by accepting yourself for who you are, you will be able to step over your fears and complexes and move on.

What should be a successful woman?

Not everyone has the traits necessary for success, but everyone can develop them in themselves. The following qualities will help you achieve anything:

• Lack of fear of making mistakes and the ability to act decisively.
• The ability to accept your failures and move on.
• The ability to think and evaluate yourself soberly is an adequate self-esteem.
• Understanding the world around and other people. The desire to change the world or to remake someone is the wrong way.
• Independence and self-sufficiency. A successful girl is financially independent and feels comfortable being alone.
• Confidence in yourself and in your abilities. If you don't believe in yourself, no one will.
• Free thinking, receptivity to everything new, the desire to learn more.

Only having formed all these qualities in oneself, one can count on successful development and achieving your goals.

The main secrets of a successful girl

To find out how successful women became successful, it is important to understand the main thing: success and success are not the same thing. Success is an opportunity to evaluate the results of your activities and feel satisfaction. This can be achieved by every woman who is self-confident. However, confidence should not be confused with high self-esteem. Only by evaluating the real achievements and their value, you can understand how to proceed.

Important Ingredients

In addition to the basic qualities that will help in life, there are three more important traits that are part of the secrets of successful women. They can be called the keys to success:

• The ability to leave the past behind.
• The ability to take risks.
• Constant self-improvement.

More recently, it was believed that taking responsibility is a male prerogative. But if you want to become the mistress of your life, you must also learn to be responsible in everything - actions, words and decisions. Often success is hindered by irrationality and impulsiveness in relationships with people, whether it be personal or business ties. All decisions must be made carefully.

Some masculine qualities

Another important quality- the ability to combine family and career. We must not forget about loved ones and push them into the background. it Golden Rule every woman who wants to be successful not only in her career but also in her personal life. It is not necessary to make a choice, the main thing is to properly organize your time and prioritize.

Having your own opinion is a mandatory trait that successful women in business have. You have to see the difference between blind stubbornness and the ability to go against the current when necessary. At the same time, it is important to hear not only your own voice, but also to listen to the opinions of other people.

Appearance is important

Taking care of appearance is also an important factor in achieving success. Even with the heaviest schedule, it is important to find time for self-care. You can’t afford to walk around the house in a dirty bathrobe or go out with a dirty head. It is also important to reconsider your views on the wardrobe. It is not necessary to always dress in strict formal style. But if you want to be taken seriously, you need to decide what impression you are going to create about yourself. A successful lady must look flawless, from hair to manicure and selection of accessories.

The image of a successful woman

The image should be considered separately. The fact that they are greeted by clothes is known to everyone. The image of a successful woman is business card that will allow others to make an impression of you. That is why attention should be paid not only to internal but also to external improvement. Men should not be imitated. If you want to compete with them, it is important to look feminine and stylish. There are a few simple rules for this:

• Determine your strengths and weaknesses. Any clothing should hide the first and emphasize the second. With a dense physique or problems with being overweight, tight-fitting things should be discarded. It is important to maintain femininity, but not look defiant. Skirts are preferred, but their length should not exceed the knee. Clothing should not seem frivolous.
• To make a good wardrobe, it is important to choose things that will be combined with not one set, but with many. It is worth paying attention to color combinations. Remember that black is not for everyone. There are many other shades suitable for business style.
• With regard to colors, you can opt for dark blue, gray, beige. Brighter colors can be used, but in moderation.
• An important detail is the choice of jewelry. They should not be too bright or frilly. Conciseness and classic style - the best choice for a successful lady.

role models

How did successful women become successful? If earlier girls could compete for the title of the most beautiful, today they are increasingly making lists of successful young ladies. It is the heroines of such lists that can become a role model and tell the secrets of successful women. Among them are:

• Hillary Clinton. Direct and purposeful, this woman politician is considered one of the most influential in the world. She can serve as an example of how even a public scandal does not stop on the way to success. hard work and work on his image made the public forget the story associated with her ex-husband and ex-US President Bill Clinton. Even losing the recent presidential election doesn't stop Clinton from further working on her career in politics.
• Joanne Rowling. A real example that success can be achieved at any age and in any position. This writer is known to the whole world as a housewife who became a millionaire. She was rejected by twelve different publishing houses, but did not stop. Thanks to this woman, the world has acquired the most popular fairy tale of our time - the inspiring story of the wizard Harry Potter. Millions of fans around the world might never recognize her if Rowling broke after the fifth or tenth rejection. In Joan's personal life, everything is also wonderful, which once again proves that success can be achieved in any field.
• Jennifer Aniston. A real example of a successful woman in the world of cinema. The world-famous actress and Hollywood diva did not immediately become famous. In her youth, she worked as a courier, a waitress, and did not give up her dream of acting in films. Today, Jennifer knows and loves the whole world, and last year she entered the top of the highest paid actresses.

Success should not be confused with luck. This is not luck and not a gift, but the result of constant work. If you want to learn how to become successful, use our tips:

• Stay open and sincere.
• Know how to insist on your own and refuse, but do not forget about the ability to forgive.
• Don't let mistakes lead you astray, successful business women learn their lesson and move on.
• Define exactly what you want. Set goals in stages: when you reach one, move on to the next.
• Raise the bar - surround yourself with the same people, purposeful and smart.
• Consistency in deeds and deeds is one of the most important rules.

The modern world is much more disposed towards female success than in the days of our parents. By following all the tips and rules given here, you can find your secrets of successful women and achieve anything. The main thing is not to stop and not give up.

Lana Turner

All people want to become successful, whether it is a man or a woman. The need for success is one of the most significant needs of a healthy, full-fledged person. Speaking of women's success, one should not lose sight of her natural destiny, which largely determines how happy a woman will feel. And the feeling of happiness, in turn, is, in fact, success. According to the idea of ​​nature, a woman is a mother, and in order to become a mother, she needs a man, so a man and children are of great importance for a woman. But, of course, not only the presence of children and good relations with a worthy, loving, caring man make a woman successful. In no case should we forget about the realization by a woman of her abilities, her creativity and business qualities.

Therefore, in our time, in most cases, we associate a successful woman mainly with a woman who has achieved a lot and has done a lot. good career, that is, it is a strong, independent woman. Does this contradict its natural purpose? Not at all. Because success in business is also a natural need for a woman. And in this article I will talk about how to become a successful woman in everything that is important and valuable for most women. I think a man’s opinion on this matter will help many of you, dear women, to gain inspiration and self-confidence to achieve absolutely any success in this life, no matter what you see it in.

First of all, let's pay attention to one common problem in our lives that prevents us from achieving success in various areas. Namely, the choice that a person, in our case a woman, has to make between different values, mainly between family and career. So many women do not succeed in life just because they cannot choose what to devote their lives to, what kind of business. And if they make such a choice, then later they doubt its correctness, so they feel unhappy, even if they really achieve a lot. And if there is no happiness, there is no success. It is believed that it is impossible to succeed in everything, both at work or in business and in personal life, that you have to choose what to devote your life to. Because of this choice, it is difficult for women to become successful, either in creating a good family, or successful in career and business. And you know that, in most cases, this is true, one interferes with the other. Therefore, a choice has to be made. And some women simply do not know how well they could succeed in this or that business if they did not do, for example, household chores, but would devote themselves to work that is interesting to them. However, if you take a creative approach to solving this problem, it turns out that you don’t need to make any choice - you can successfully combine a career with family activities and succeed in everything. How to do it? It's all about interest.

You see, my dear readers, work or business can be such that it will not interfere with your family. The main thing is that you are interested in doing something, and that all your needs are satisfied. Usually, we strive to become successful in what we are interested in, this is in terms of our desire. If we talk about our unwillingness, then in this case we strive to succeed in what we consider important for ourselves, taking into account our problems and unmet needs. Well, let's say you have lived in poverty all your life and therefore you have a desire to get rich, and no matter how, just to earn a lot of money, just to stop feeling poor. That is, this desire originates from your unwillingness to be poor, so you want to earn a lot of money and become a rich person. Discomfort and dissatisfaction, as well as a sense of fear, are in this case the source of a woman's desire to become successful.

So some women have to provide for themselves when they simply do not have a decent man who can take care of them. A woman wants to feel protected - this is one of her basic needs, she wants to live in human conditions and have everything necessary for a normal life. Therefore, when there is no such man next to her who can take care of her properly, she has to take care of herself. This is how a woman's desire arises - to be successful in those areas that run counter to her need to have a good family to which she could devote herself. She simply does not have this normal family, there is no man with whom she could feel protected and provided with everything necessary. And if he was, a woman would not strive to devote herself completely to work, business, making money, or rather, she would be engaged in such work, such a business that would not harm her family. To solve this problem, a woman needs to figure out what is easier and more important for her - to find a normal man who can take care of her, with whom you can create a good happy family, and living with whom she can do such work that will not interfere her to take care of her family, or take care of herself all her life. The choice, as you can see, still needs to be made, but not as difficult as the choice between career and family. It all depends on what efforts a woman is ready to make to achieve success in life, taking into account her natural feminine needs. If a woman believes that she cannot afford to find a worthy man and is going to devote herself only to work, then we can say that her success will be incomplete. Rather, everything will depend on her feeling happy. If career success makes a woman completely happy, then she will have no problems. But I warn you that nature haunts those people who do not follow its goals, so success in business, while failing in your personal life, most likely will not allow you to feel truly successful. True, a woman can devote herself to her children if, say, she doesn’t have a relationship with a man, but she has children, and at the same time making a career is better, much better than just a career. Raising and raising a child is no doubt a great success that brings a person, especially a woman, great satisfaction. After all, our children are our future.

If we talk about our desires, which are related to our interest, then they can be any, absolutely any. When nothing puts pressure on a person, no problems, obligations, dissatisfaction - he can wish for anything, and he will be happy to realize his desire, even if it consists in simply doing some little significant business for other people. That is, you see, if you save a person from all internal problems and help him become interested in something, then he can be happy from any success, no matter what it is. It is the interest in success in this or that business that allows a woman to devote herself, in addition to her family, to such a cause that will give her great joy and satisfaction, without interfering with her taking care of her family.

So what should be the success of a woman so as not to interfere with her being a mother and having a happy family and at the same time fulfilling herself? Yes, there are a lot of options here. What, isn't it possible, say, to sit at home with the children and engage in writing? This is a great area for self-realization. Or is it possible to do business via the Internet, again, not to the detriment of family relationships, not to the detriment of your role as a mother? Yes, even work outside the home may well be combined with family values ​​and at the same time be quite significant and well paid. Suitable options can always be found, taking into account your abilities. Do you agree that this is possible, dear women? I'm sure you agree. So why do we, or rather you, have trouble choosing between different values, between the need for a family and children, and the need for a career? It is obvious that, firstly, many women do not see other opportunities for self-realization that would not harm their personal life, but, on the contrary, would complement it, and secondly, some women have the wrong interest, they want to succeed in those areas they don't really need. Sometimes, however, a woman has a choice between success in her personal life and success in her career, in some business, because her family is not very happy, and she is unhappy because, how would it be more correct to say - the wrong second half. Well, I already wrote about this - some women are forced to succeed only in those areas in which they are able, from their point of view, to achieve it. But still, do not rush, dear women, with the choice of what to devote your life to - do not drive your basic needs under the carpet, do not put an end to areas of life that are important to you - look for opportunities to succeed in them - do not hide from life at work , in business, in other activities that give you only partial satisfaction with your life. For happiness, I believe, you need to fight, and not just hope that it will someday come to you.

Some women go into business or work with their heads only because they simply do not have a normal, satisfying relationship with a man, there is no such family that would give them great joy. Therefore, although they can achieve in their business great success, due to the fact that they will devote all their time only to him, they, alas, do not feel complete happiness because of this. You can't fool nature. I don't want to say that every woman has to get married, give birth to children and take care of their upbringing in order to be considered successful, because in some cases this is impossible, for various reasons. I want to say that in some cases, some women deprive themselves of the opportunity to be successful in everything that is important to them, according to the right priorities and their natural desires, because they do not solve their problems, but prefer to hide from them. Thinking about how to become a rich and successful woman, they do not consider it possible for themselves to be both a happy mother and wife. But it's possible, trust me. Just think about what kind of woman can be called successful - one who, say, has made a good career for herself, or one who feels happy? And a woman can feel happy herself from many things, and from a successful career, and from realizing herself in some business, and of course, from a happy family. Another thing is that her life priorities should be correctly placed and the woman should be interested in what she does. And his, this interest, if desired and if you try, you can instill in everything. In any case, the needs that are important for a woman, she must strive to satisfy with all her might. So a man, children, family, some interesting business with which a woman will realize herself - all this goes well with each other.

So here is the answer to the question - how to become a successful woman. You just need to interest yourself in such a business that will be perfectly combined with your need to have a family and children, and strive for success in it. No need to strive for stereotyped success, for what other women have achieved - go your own way. If you have a good husband, there are children who need your attention and, in general, a wonderful family, and your career harms it - give it up, do something else - you can realize yourself in many areas that do not harm family values. A person can love everything, the main thing is that his basic needs are satisfied. There is no need to look at other people, other women - they have their own life, their own problems, their own life experience, which largely determines their value system. There are women for whom a career is more important than anything else - this is also good, but good for them, for their life situation, for their values. If they are happy that they have succeeded in some business, in some area, then no matter what they do, one can only be happy for them - they have found themselves in this life and this is no doubt a success. But you need to think with your head about what is important and valuable to you. Do not follow the example of others - live your values.

Let me bring you good example from your life. Although I am not a woman, I can still show you, using the example of my life, how you can achieve success in what is important for each of us. That's when I was very young and didn't know much about life, so I didn't fully understand what was really important and valuable to me. And what I did not do, dreaming, like many other people - about big money, about fame, about high status in society, and so on. My desires and goals were not much different from the desires and goals of many other men who want to take place in this life. But when I had a family, I began to rethink a lot in my life. I worked a lot with people, while not paying enough attention to my family. And it was not very good, both for my family and for me. And it's not even that my family was dissatisfied with this, although this, of course, is important, but that I myself was dissatisfied with this. I believe that spouses should spend as much time as possible together in order to live the same life and adhere to many of the same values. I also believe that parents should actively participate in the education and upbringing of their children so that their children are their children, and not someone else's. You cannot trust your children to other people, those who will fill them with certain knowledge, instill in them certain values ​​and goals, shape their worldview while they grow up. For me it was important. And it would seem that this is a conflict, you cannot be successful at work and at the same time devote a lot of time to your family. And this is true if success in work is associated with some particular type of activity to which a person devotes the lion's share of his attention. But this conflict will not happen if a person decides to do another thing, another job that will not harm his family, will not harm himself, due to the fact that he does not pay enough attention to people dear to him and his children, who, according to in fact, are its future. What did I do? I made my choice. I just changed the type of activity, I took up another job in order to become successful in what, firstly, is as interesting to me as former job and secondly, and this is especially important, in what is very important and valuable to me. And at the same time, this type of activity does not tear me away from my family, it complements my value system, and does not kill it. And now my tongue will not rise to say that I am not happy, and therefore not successful. Everything suits me, I'm happy with everything. In my opinion, this is a success. Yes, maybe if I continued to do the work that I did before, I would be much richer, get a certain fame, become a more significant person, but it would make me happy man? Judging by the inner discomfort that I experienced, not being able to spend enough time with people dear to me, definitely not. Then what would it be a success, for whom would it be a success? No, I don't need that kind of success.

I don’t know if you share my views on life, dear women, but I believe that the question posed in this article about how to become a successful woman is a consequence of the answer to another question - what should be considered success? In other words, you need to decide on your value system before you think about success. As for your capabilities, on which your success largely depends, their limit is sometimes very difficult to determine. Sometimes it seems to a woman that, except in one thing that she is used to doing, she will not be able to be successful anywhere else. But it is worth drawing her attention to other opportunities that she has, which she herself did not know about or which she ignored, as her picture of the world immediately changes, and she begins to build completely different plans for life, to a much greater extent meeting her interests. It is very, very important to understand what you really need and what you can really do. There can be no success in a person's life if he connects him with goals that are far from his real desires and needs. Thus, in order to become a successful woman, you need to decide on your values, and then find an interest in what does not contradict these values ​​and start actively working in this direction. You yourself will perfectly guess what exactly needs to be done in order to succeed in a particular business, because a sincere interest in a particular business will help you find all the necessary answers to your questions. I can't write for you detailed instructions to achieve success in this or that business, because each of you has your own values, your goals, your desires, and therefore your own deeds. Therefore, I will only talk about what is important for the vast majority of women - about relationships with men, without which you cannot start a family and have children. Success in this business will definitely make you happy, even if you cannot realize yourself in something else.

So, with regard to men, it is very important to understand one very important truth here, and not only for you, but also for men - your goals, values ​​and interests should coincide with the goals, values ​​and interests of your partner, as much as possible. If you want to succeed in some business, say, in business, then your man must be somehow connected with him, or, you must involve him, involve him in this business, or in a similar business, in order to move along with him in one direction. No need to mess with a slacker who will play the fool all day and spend the money you earn, this will inevitably lead to conflicts. But even if you have found yourself such a husband, then try to involve him in your activities so that he becomes a part of it, even the smallest one. In other words - connect your relationship with a man, your family - with your business, your business, your goals, desires, dreams. Nothing brings people together like a common cause, common goals and values, a shared passion for something. And then you will have an excellent reason to make every effort to achieve success in your business, which will be in harmony with your other values, including family values. The ideal option is when the whole family is engaged in one common thing. It's just wonderful. In this case, everyone will be satisfied with their lives, because everyone will receive the necessary attention to themselves during cooperation. You could single out, and perhaps even see, how people live together and happily when they are all doing one common thing that they all love, which they are all interested in. It is clear that not every business can be shared with all members of your family, at least with your soulmate, but you can find such a business. I wrote about this above - it all depends on the interest that can be instilled in everything.

Of course, success in a woman's life depends on many other factors that I have not mentioned here. We will talk about them in other articles in order to properly consider them. In this article, I showed you how important it is to stick to the right system of values ​​and strive to succeed in life within these values. I will say just a few more words about motivation, which is also very important for success in life.

Motivation, I believe, ideally should also be based primarily on cognitive interest, as well as on passion, vanity, the desire for self-realization and reasonable greed, and not on necessity caused by fear. Although it must be admitted that fear can very well motivate a person to action, but at the same time it seriously limits his creative abilities. If you become motivated by fear, which will awaken in you the need to achieve something, then you will be set to work hard, plow a lot, and not to invent, create something, as is the case in those cases. when interest is the motivation.

It is also very important to properly encourage yourself so as not to dampen your motivation. You do not need to buy anything for yourself, to please yourself with something, to have fun, just because you want it - link your desires with your achievements in order to always demand greater and better results from yourself. Let's say you want to buy a new dress for yourself and you have money for it that you honestly earned. It would seem that nothing prevents you from realizing your desire. But do not rush to do this - the desire must be tied to some new achievement of yours. You must set a condition for yourself - I will buy this dress for myself if I do this and that in the near future, if I achieve some goal. And since the dress is not such a big desire, the goal can and should be short-term, that is, achievable in the very near future, but nevertheless requiring some effort from you. It doesn't matter if it's a job where you need to achieve some result, or about relationships with people, for example, with the same man, in which you need to put things in order - just do something that needs to be done, achieve in something, albeit small, but success, to deserve a new dress. If you have done the job - you can encourage yourself, if you haven’t done it - don’t buy anything for yourself, don’t please yourself with anything. Treat yourself the way trainers treat animals, which they reward only when they successfully perform some trick. This is very good way motivation, I myself often use it. I have money for something that I need, that I want to acquire, but I do not buy anything for myself until I achieve some new result in this or that business that I am currently doing. And so I am always perfectly motivated to work. For success right motivation- it's all. Without it, sometimes even good knowledge and skills will not help to succeed. We are such creatures that, either because of great interest in something, we do something, or out of necessity, when, as they say, life itself makes us move. I prefer to use my interest in something as a motivation, although I sometimes use fear to keep myself from relaxing.

Thus, I believe that a successful woman is a woman who knows what and why she wants and succeeds in precisely those areas that are important to her, which correspond to her value system, and also, and this is the most important - this is a woman who not only feels happy herself, but also makes other people happy. I sincerely apologize to those of you, dear women, who hold different points of view on this issue. I respect your opinion very much, therefore, in no case do I insist that my point of view on women's happiness and the way to achieve it is the ultimate truth. But if you agree with me, then I will be infinitely happy if you follow my advice and thanks to them, but to a greater extent, of course, thanks to yourself, you will achieve the success you need.

Please decide on your goals, values, desires, be aware of your needs, evaluate your capabilities - and make sure that everything you need from life harmonizes with each other and complements each other. And then just start doing what you have to, and everything will work out for you - you will become a successful woman, I promise. If you don’t know how to deal with all this, how to understand what you want and how to link what you want with each other so that nothing conflicts with anything, you can ask me for help. I have good experience solving such problems, and, as you now know, thanks, among other things, to your own life experience. My opinion is that if you become happy, you will be successful. And if you are successful and yet unhappy, then that is not real success.

All of us in childhood dreamed of "exploits, valor, glory", of becoming an astronaut or, at worst, a millionaire. And all these dreams are, in essence, one and the same: a thirst for success and recognition. But everyone has a different idea of ​​how to achieve what they want. So how do you succeed? This is the question we asked young people.

Lilia (19 years old, student):

- When I entered the university, I already knew where I would work after receiving my diploma - my uncle will try to ensure that I have a decent job with an appropriate salary. So my "success" is guaranteed!

Eugene (23 years old, unemployed):

- Five or ten years ago, one could talk about how to achieve success, wealth and prosperity. Now, in the existing circumstances - in this country, with such laws and the prevailing "wild" market relations- it is impossible to succeed unless influential relatives help you settle in life.

Dmitry (19 years old, student):

- I know that in three years, when I graduate from the institute, I will be in demand as a specialist. A programmer is the most prestigious and promising profession today. Maybe even go abroad, where they pay real money for your work.

Vasily (17 years old, schoolboy):

“In my opinion, to be successful, you need to know what you want. I look at my sister, who has two higher educations - chemical and historical - and does not know what to do with them and where to work, and I understand that in life you need to be able to give up something in order to achieve what you need. For example, I already know what I need from life, but my sister, who is eight years older than me, does not yet.

Marina (20 years old, student):

“I’m just sure that inevitable, simply inevitable success awaits me in this life!” Everything has always been easy for me. And at school I was an excellent student, and I entered the university without any problems and patronage, and now I am taking computer courses, learning English, “and also a photo circle, and I also want to sing!” I can do almost anything.

Andrey (17 years old, student):

- Yes, success can be achieved if there is initial capital. That would be where to start! That's just where to get fifteen thousand like that? You won’t earn money, you won’t take it on credit, and begging from some millionaire is also not realistic. The only thing left is to steal!

Borya (25 years old, entrepreneur):

- The main thing is to go to your goal and stop at nothing. I am ready to move mountains and break through the wall with my head if anything gets in the way of my business.

Anya (16 years old, schoolgirl):

“I know that in order to achieve anything, I have to get out of here. The astrologer told me that Barnaul is an unfavorable place for me, and if I go to Moscow or St. Petersburg, then I can make a career there. And, as luck would have it, all my relatives are from Barnaul.

Slava (25 years old, loader):

— How to succeed? Well, it depends on what you consider success. If success is prestigious profession and big "grandmothers", then I did not achieve success and it is unlikely that I will ever succeed. But I am absolutely, 100% happy when I come home after work to my favorite aquarium fish. Since childhood, I was fond of them, and I can say. What I know is not only about their species and families, but even about their habits and mores. So in this area I am a pro and proud of it. This is also a kind of success and achievement.

It often seems to us that success is about someone else, and not at all about us. Successful women marry great men, have healthy kids, get good jobs, make tons of money. Apparently, they are just born lucky, and nothing can be done about it. But it's not!

Secrets of success in everything

“If you really want to, you can fly into space,” these are the words of a famous song. Success is based on inner intention. This is not just a burning desire or a thoughtful goal - it is deeper. Desires and goals are controlled by the mind, but emotions and intentions are controlled by the soul.

It's good when there is a goal and a desire - this is the first step to success (many do not even dare to take it, believing that it is a shame to wish for success). But from lying on the couch, dreaming of success, you need to move on to action - this is the second secret to achieving success in everything. You must be prepared to take steps in the direction you have chosen.

You must want to achieve the goal in order for your desire to turn into an intention. This is where personality barriers often arise. Most people are comfortable living the way they live. Deep down, they like to be lazy, to do nothing, because success is not only achievements, wealth and other pleasant things. Success is hard work, endless generation of ideas, failures on the way to their implementation, responsibility and many other efforts that these people do not want to undertake.

Hard work is another secret to success in everything. Think of famous successful people: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison - they all spent thousands of hours making their dreams come true. Hard painstaking work from early morning until late at night led them to this, and by no means daydreaming and lying on the couch. Of course, sometimes it was hard for them, but they overcame all obstacles thanks to the energy that their goal gave them. They saw it in perspective, were not afraid to rework it.

An important thing that underlies any successful endeavor is confidence in yourself and your goal. The universe is arranged according to the principle of saving energy and resources, and luck is the living embodiment of this idea.

But reason creates obstacles, contradictions, and perceives any deviation from the planned plan as the collapse of all hopes and gives a signal for surrender. The universe is limitless in its possibilities, and anything can happen - even a million in your bank account. Not even so - you will have it, if you are sure of it, you will start taking steps in the right direction.

What is success for you? Wealth, family, love, friendship, career, fame - all these things are more concrete than abstract success. This should be your goal - specific and positive. First, you must imagine it in all details, without thinking about how to achieve it. Then think about how you are in this future: strong, courageous, educated, cunning or analytical. These qualities you need to develop in the present in order to succeed. Finally, think about what could help you achieve your goal. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first, so start at least a small thing that will bring you closer to the goal.

Go to study. To succeed in everything, you need a constant influx of knowledge. So read on. If you don't like reading, go to courses or lectures. If you don't like going to courses or lectures, travel. If you can not travel - communicate with different people. Look for any information on your topic, absorb it every second of your free time. There is never enough knowledge, and you never know what will be useful and what will not. Do not spare money on your education, this is the only competent and effective investment.

Become the author of your life. What is the difference between the lucky ones and the losers? The fact that they themselves create their own lives, not reconciling themselves with fate or other external circumstances. When there is an obstacle in their life, they ask themselves two questions: how and why did I do it? Try it. It will be difficult at first, but soon it will become a habit, and you will not notice how you begin to reap the first fruits of your success. The author's position in relation to life does not allow for long mournful explanations why something does not work out for you - you just have to find a way to overcome the obstacle.

How to be successful in your personal life

The strategy for finding happiness in your personal life can be aggressively assertive, or it can be soft, meek, that is, purely feminine.

In many ways, all problems in relations with men are connected with femininity, or rather, with its lack. You simply do not feel your female part, do not perceive yourself as a woman. This is manifested in such character traits as perseverance, rigidity, aggressiveness, rationality in actions, thoughts and other masculine qualities. Men simply do not see you as a woman and therefore do not want to establish a relationship.

Develop femininity. There are a lot of courses and schools dedicated to strengthening your female part. You can observe the one who is a model of femininity for you, and try to adopt her behavior: facial expressions, gestures, postures, gait. See what her actions are most “catching” men, try to do the same. How do you feel? If it's comfortable, then femininity for you is a matter of training. If not, then you should think: what prevents you from being feminine? Perhaps the point is in some attitudes that you learned in childhood, for example, “all girls are fools” or “flirting is stupid or unworthy.” Sometimes it is enough to discover such an idea and realize its inconsistency with reality, and sometimes the help of a psychologist is required.

Often, self-doubt becomes the key to failure in personal life. It happens that a woman comes to see a psychologist - she is smart, beautiful, cooks well - and she does not develop relationships with men. She does not believe that she is worthy of a man. Work on yourself in this case may take some time, because it is impossible to radically change a person’s personality in an instant.

But there is a solution: do what you are good at. Achieve small intermediate successes - they are not so noticeable, but they can give you strength and self-confidence. Come up with, or rather, find your zest. For example, you have visited different parts of the world or you know everything about the construction of a tram. Awareness of this will help you believe in your own attractiveness, and there the interest from men is just around the corner.

Many women are prevented from continuing to communicate with men by traumatic past experiences. For example, if the previous gentleman deceived you, had an affair with your girlfriend. Or for several years he resisted building a serious relationship, and then ran away to his mother. In such situations, a woman thinks: “All men are their own ...” and puts an end to her personal life. But this is wrong! You need to understand the reasons for failures on the love front: it is possible that you were just unlucky, and you need to pay attention to examples of successful relationships.

However, it happens that a woman herself subconsciously chooses "the wrong men." She, of course, likes the family idyll of her friend Masha, but for some reason she herself “bites” on handsome men without a penny in her pocket and intelligible plans for the future. Here you need to realize the problem and understand what you want: family happiness, Latin American passions, insipid stability or something else. And choose such men.

Sometimes failures in personal life are connected with the fact that there is a fear of a serious relationship. And every time things start to go to them, you back down, look for flaws in your partner and proudly burn all bridges. A long-term relationship with a man is not only happiness. This is also responsibility, changes in life, the ability to compromise, emotionally invest in communication. Not everyone wants it, but someone is afraid. Then awareness is again the key to success. Only by realizing how you purposefully break relationships can you change your life for the better. Accept difficulties as inevitable and find a way to cope with them.

Understanding male nature is another important condition for success in your personal life. You can not approach men the same way as women - they are different. They have a different mindset, life priorities, they react differently to everything that happens to them. Men are hunters by nature, they like the process of wooing and conquering a woman. Therefore, girls who have “looking for a partner” written on their foreheads may have problems on the love front due to availability!

Or let's take another example. A woman tells her partner a story about an evil boss, and instead of feeling sorry for her, he begins to give some advice. Men are so arranged that they try to immediately find a solution to the problem. It is not customary for them to support, sympathize with each other. The result of such a contradiction between the sexes is alienation or rupture of relations in the near future. The way out is in the ability to understand and feel each other. Then success in your personal life will not be long in coming.

How to Succeed at Work

The status of a beloved wife is far from being the limit of all dreams. Since the middle of the twentieth century, we have the same rights as men. And the right to work, building a career too. Career advancement has long been considered the privilege of men, and the aggressively assertive masculine style of behavior is appropriate in this matter. But you can combine it with a purely female ability to establish contacts, and then you will have no equal in the professional field.

The secret of career success is the ability to interact with other people. In any work, properly organized communication is up to ninety percent effective. You simply have to be able to find a common language with different people: noisy, quiet, smart, stupid, quick-tempered, calm. Of course, if professional self-realization is important to you. This skill is based on understanding, acceptance of other people as they are, and this is already a certain personal maturity.

Intolerance arouses in us condemnation, which breaks the contact. Here the question arises of the effectiveness of communication: you can scold, reject the behavior of another person, but then what can you get from him? Any interaction is aimed at achieving some goal, and if you cannot get along with a partner, failure and failure await you as a result. Not the most joyful prospect! Communication skills can be developed in psychological trainings, but life itself provides the most interesting material for learning.

Think about what position will become a symbol of success for you. What do you need to get it? Often this turns out to be a lack of experience and some kind of knowledge, skills, and abilities. Start learning and at the same time get the work experience you need. Statistics show that HR managers give more preference to people who have tried to do something in practice than to those who studied it at the institute. There is no need to shun the positions of assistants, assistants - this is an opportunity to become more competent and acquire the necessary connections.

Now the employer is trying to buy a multifunctional specialist for his money, for example, an HR manager with education in both psychology and economics. Such personnel are especially appreciated, because they can understand all the intricacies of the workflow.

For the sake of career success, you have to give up something. For example, from the opportunity to leave work at exactly six - those who worked a lot overtime reach real heights in the profession. In the process career development you will most likely have to go towards your goal, despite the rejection and condemnation from the outside. In our country, active energetic people are not very fond of, especially when they achieve success. Therefore, you will have to put up with sidelong glances in your address - they will be inevitable companions of success.

• Make a plan before you start doing anything. This is not a waste of time, but an attempt to structure your activities. There is a well-known metaphor: "an elephant can be eaten in pieces." Its essence boils down to the fact that when you break one big complex case into many small ones, then achieving the final goal is easier for you. Your plan should be detailed and understandable - you need to prescribe intermediate tasks and goals, their sequence, and deadlines for their implementation. It also disciplines, because when you set limits for yourself, you can no longer be lazy with the ease that you had before the plan was made.
• Use swot analysis. It is an analysis of a problem, situation or project. It includes strong weak sides object. This is another way of structuring the problem, allowing you to get a detailed description of it and come up with a solution.
• Go towards other people, provide them with small services. This is a good way to make the right connections. Usually people do not forget the favors done to them by others, they want to thank them in the future. And who knows when and in what form you will need someone's help?
• Ability to receive feedback. Of course, each of us likes to listen to flattering reviews about ourselves. They bring undeniable benefits - increase our self-esteem, add self-confidence. Compliments and praises need to be able to accept correctly - you should not deny them and translate everything into a joke. On the contrary, you need to hear what the person says good about you, thank him for the feedback. But negative reviews of your work are even more helpful than positive ones. This is valuable information, and it can be given to you just like that. Therefore, when someone criticizes your work, do not be offended by him or yourself. It is better to listen carefully to what he says, and make a list of growth points for yourself.
• Keep the promises you make. A fulfilled promise will add bonuses to your karma and bring you some kind of fruit in the future. Therefore, do not take on what you cannot do, no matter how embarrassing you may be, because it will be worse later when you do not live up to the natural expectations of this person. There are situations when it is impossible to fulfill the promise, then it is your duty to warn about this in advance, to explain why everything failed this time.
• Find your mentor. Do you remember your work experience at the institute? It is one thing when they explain something to you in theory, and quite another when you learn something in practice, and under the strict guidance of a person who can give you high-quality feedback. Although it happens differently when you just learn from someone whose success is an example for you. Such a person knows how to go from an idea to an achieved goal, and what pitfalls await you.
• Look for fresh ideas. You should not sit and wait for something good to fall on your head - you have to get off the couch yourself, find it, and if it doesn’t work out, then do it yourself. The likelihood of finding something worthwhile increases if you are constantly on your guard on the Internet, brainstorming, reading autobiographies. famous people, at worst.

How to reach your goal quickly

People who know how to achieve their goal claim that to achieve it you need:

• Perseverance.
• Diligence.
• Optimism.
• Self confidence.
• Persistence.
• Positive thinking.

Not all of us have all these qualities. All of them help in building a career and in personal life. However, it is enough to have at least two of them, so that later, realizing that the goal is real, develop the rest in yourself. It is only necessary to realize that nothing is impossible, if we set ourselves some kind of goal, then we have the opportunity to achieve it.

One of the conditions for achieving goals is to erase from your head the memories of the past, regrets about something that was not done before. It is impossible to go back to the past and change something. And memories that evoke feelings take away from us the strength that is sorely needed when we, achieving success, are determined to hold on to the end.

The next condition for successful pursuit of your goals is to stop getting upset over trifles, whining, complaining about the lack of a career or success in your personal life, believing that neither one nor the other comes out. If something doesn’t work out for us, it means that the time has come to comprehend new knowledge or skills.

The Benefits of Fear

Oddly enough, but fear - effective remedy to perform actions equivalent to feats. He opens up sources of power in us that we didn't even know existed. Recall the well-known story of a mother who was able to move and hold a multi-ton truck, saving her child from death. What gave a fragile woman the opportunity to lift an unimaginable weight? Fear for my son. And what allows a thin boy to fight back when he is attacked by a drunken company? Fear for your life. Finally, what drives another already successful person to tell himself "Succeed Again" and move on? The same fear of losing authority and comfort.

Conclusion: if we lack perseverance or self-confidence, we need a “kick” in the form of fear. This is a magical, if not particularly pleasant way to achieve effective results. Each of us in a critical situation can activate forces in ourselves, with the help of which, on the way to the goal, we can simply sweep away all obstacles without even noticing them. If we are looking for ways to achieve success in life, we are ready to get out of the annoying zone of inertia, but we don’t dare to do this, we need to consciously look for motivations for fear.

The purpose of such motivations is to cause fear of inaction, to force a person to perform actions that are atypical for him. Motivations are based on the principle: “I’m scared, I have to do something, because no one will do it better than me!” This is how we create a very powerful stimulus to action, and, having taken some steps under the influence of fear, having won, we eventually gain self-confidence and cease to be afraid of far-fetched difficulties.

Fear can be used as an effective technique to achieve goals. There is one problem: not each of us will consciously seek motivation for it.

To achieve significant life changes, some actions of a global scale are not required. Even small steps can bring results. The meaning of these steps is to change your attitude to life and the way you think. They consist of the following:

1. We monitor our speech, we try to remove phrases from the lexicon that can destroy our enthusiasm. We replace them with new, positive phrases. It is necessary to exclude from use such expressions as “everything is as always”, “nothing new”, “I can’t do this”, “no one needs this”, “I don’t want anything”, “I have to”. They can paralyze part of the mind, instill in us a sense of hopelessness and personal inadequacy.
2. We are looking for something in every passing day for which we can thank our fate, every day we express recognition to it for what we have already experienced, for what we have today, even for what we do not have. This will allow you not to get used to the achieved well-being and move forward. Constantly cultivating a sense of gratitude to fate, we learn to think positively, not to dwell on the failures of past years.
3. Every morning, waking up, we tell ourselves that the best day of all the days already lived begins, we try to remember this until the evening.
4. We are trying to at least a little master the area, which, as we were convinced before, is completely inaccessible to us. Discovering new abilities in himself, each person experiences a spiritual uplift, a surge of inner strength, an irresistible desire for action. Thanks to all this, he unconsciously finds the shortest path to success, walks along this path without tension.
5. We find our main goals by first finding out what makes us cry with joy, how we can make others smile, what these people see as our abilities, what makes us sincerely laugh, what changed us for the better, what we can work on all night long. It helps to find a goal, the achievement of which will make us truly happy.
6. Let's take it for granted that difficulties pass, and changes in life occur gradually, we will make a list of what is worth doing every day.

How to develop willpower

There are many ways to strengthen willpower, each of which is designed for specific circumstances and inclinations of a person. We will now consider five universal effective methods for developing the will.

Human willpower is not unlimited, and we try to use it, choosing the path of least resistance. When we have a poor idea of ​​​​how to succeed at work, using our willpower to the fullest, we start working for days, we will lose as a result. Willpower energy is an impulse that will flare up, push us off the spot, and then burn a little and go out.

Willpower cannot be a constant fuel. It is necessary to create a plan from a chain of events that contribute to the organization of forces and movement in the right direction with their dosed use. Performing the planned daily, we gradually accustom ourselves to the rhythm of actions, as a result, even difficult work becomes familiar, it is easy for us.

If there is a temptation to go off the intended path to the goal, you want to quit everything, fall on the sofa until better times, we begin to think about our prospects. The best way to increase self-control is to present long-term goals and distract yourself from the temptations of the current moment. For example, we dream about how we succeed in our careers, how we occupy a good, well-paid position.

At the moment, we have the opportunity to relax on the sea, and really want to quit work, lie on the beach. However, such an act means the collapse of a career, and the future will become blurry and doubtful. Is it worth it? Hardly. Therefore, in order to destroy the temptation, we begin to think about our prospects, and interest in the object of temptation will immediately fall.

We compose a proposal that affirms the achievement of the goal, mentally repeat it as often as possible. Such a repetition, stating the goal as a fait accompli, is the most effective method strengthening willpower. How to do it? For example, if we figured out how to succeed in business, but it is tempting to spend the start-up capital on buying a car, then we can constantly repeat to ourselves: “My business is booming.” Consciousness itself will switch from the car to problems already existing business, and the purchase of a car will recede into the background.

Every day, at least for a few minutes, we think about our goals, directing the vector of willpower on the path to achieving them. This day-to-day thinking leaves its mark on our emotional memory, helping us choose the direction in which we will use our willpower.

Oddly enough, it will sound, but to strengthen willpower you need to have a good breakfast. This is explained by the fact that willpower is energy, the replenishment of which requires a large amount of glucose. Researchers say that a person who has been in a state of self-control for a long time has a greatly reduced blood glucose level.

An insufficient amount of it can be the reason that when you need to pull yourself together, a person simply cannot do it. Willpower must be nourished, otherwise it will dry up at the right moment. And for this, you should eat foods in the morning that allow you to maintain the desired level of glucose in the blood.

All these techniques are simple, do not require any special conditions for their implementation. This path will bring many surprises, surprises, it can change life, habits, even life values. Such changes sometimes become causes of uncertainty, misunderstanding of one's role in the circumstances. There is nothing terrible in this - we just have to adapt to the new environment, realize where our place is now.

During the adaptation period, a sense of humor helps to reduce stress, physical exercises, regular good rest, communication with friends and relatives. The main thing at this time is to boldly step forward, in no case looking back. Memories of the past will give rise to doubts about the correctness of the goal, and doubts, in turn, can lead to significant losses. To prevent this from happening, you need to calmly and deeply analyze the situation in order to thoroughly know all its pluses and minuses, to get guidelines. Let's say to ourselves: "This path to the goal was chosen by me independently." And we resolutely go to it, discarding unnecessary conjectures.

What can make you a failure

If you want to be successful, you must have a solid understanding of what could limit your potential and lead to failure.

So, successful people reject:

false beliefs

These are misconceptions about external factors or about yourself. An example of a false belief is the following situation: a person does not allow himself to set a goal - "get the best job!" Instead, he thinks, "I'll never be able to get a good job, these days!" False beliefs act as a limit to your potential, and therefore your success. They can not only limit you, but they can also destroy your life.

External locus of control

This is a way of thinking that makes a person believe that everything that happens to him does not depend on him, but on some external factors. For example, when a girl says that the teacher found fault with her too much when she did not do well in the exam; or when your friend says she can't find a good job because the country is unemployed - these are all examples of an external locus of control.

Lack of stamina

What good is it that you have many virtues and valuable skills if you lost hope after the first (well, in the worst case, the second) failure? Those people who achieve the best results are the most persistent among all. They keep working until the very end, until they get what they want, even if everything was against them, even if failure overtook them many times.

Lack of flexibility

Flexibility is the ability of a person to adapt to external conditions. It is an opportunity to try something in a new way when the old, familiar way is ineffective. The more flexible you are, the more you can adapt to new conditions, the higher your chances of success.

Lack of planning

If you don't have goals or plans, then you allow yourself to become part of other people's plans. If you are not planning to be a leader at work, then someone else will be, and if you are not planning to get this high paying job then someone else will take your place. If you do not plan anything, then you will be removed from the path of purposeful people. They will occupy all the prestigious places, make money, gain fame, while you will be just a spectator, a witness to their success. Therefore, planning is an important point in achieving success!

Lack of self-confidence

If you are not confident in yourself, you will be afraid to follow some of your ideas, you will be able to give up a dream when someone tells you that this is impossible. You will avoid any risk and ignore many opportunities that could lead you to success. If you want to increase your chances of success, you must build your self-confidence brick by brick.

fears

Often the fear of failure and the fear of success interfere. While they seem to be complete opposites of each other, both of these fears can have such an effect on you that it prevents you from even trying to do anything. And whoever does nothing, of course, does not make mistakes, but he never succeeds either.

How to change your life

Number of attempts

Babies learn how to hold an object only after they have tried many wrong ways. Every time the baby tries to pick up something in his fingers and then drops the object, he learns something new about the correct way to hold it. After a certain number of attempts, the child finally learns to pick up and hold the object correctly. The same goes for any learning process. If you want to be successful, you must understand that you need to overcome failure until you find what action will work the way you want.

Be flexible

When you can't act like you normally do, take a different approach and try something new. Try to figure out why you didn't succeed so that you can correct your mistakes the next time you try. Each time you discover something new for yourself, learn to overcome another obstacle that stands in the way of success, you will take a big step forward along this path.

Go to the end

When Edison was asked how he managed, without losing hope, to try a thousand times to make the light bulb invented by him shine when they exploded one after another, he answered something like this: “Each time the next light bulb exploded, I told myself that I had found another how not to invent it!” He was just sure that he was going to make this invention, so he knew that it was only a matter of time and number of attempts.

Learn to learn

Unsuccessful people very often feel helpless in some situations. They simply do not know what they need to do in order to set a goal, achieve it, and achieve success. After the first failure, or even after the very first misfire, they just get frustrated and give up, instead of studying the cause of the failure. Whenever you can't figure out what went wrong, reach out to people more experienced in the field. You can read the necessary literature, sign up for training courses of the profile you are interested in. The main thing is to learn to understand your topic well, to learn how to overcome difficulties. Then you won't feel helpless!

Be psychologically prepared for any obstacles

People around you will criticize you, maybe even laugh at you, try to undermine your self-confidence, and maybe even begin to reject you. But, if you want to be successful, do not let your dream collapse, do not turn off the chosen path.

Failure or Success

Do you want an example when there are only a couple of meters between success and failure? Imagine a school, a class. There is a lesson. The test results are announced. Two students get fours. They sit on the same version, they are separated by only two desks and a whole abyss of emotions. The trio cannot contain his glee. This four saved him from an unsatisfactory mark in the quarter. The excellent student is shocked silent. For him, four points is a failure. Failure. But there is only one control. Mark too. But it all depends on the attitude to the result of the control of both students. From the one who expected to receive how much at the beginning of the lesson.

Or another example. Two fifty-year-old women are on the train. Both of them were brought up in a complete family with an average income, studied well at school, graduated from the institute. Lots of things in common, right? But the thoughts of women are radically different. One of them, summing up the preliminary result of her life, complains: “The husband does not appreciate. One fishing on my mind. The kids didn't get anything. My daughter gave birth to three children, she stays at home. The son married a divorcee, brings up a stepson, works at a factory. Even the car is a wreck.”

Another, smiling, boasts: “And I have a wonderful husband. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. So many years together. We even go fishing together. Our kids are wonderful. My daughter and her husband are lucky. She follows him like a stone wall. He brings up children, bakes pies. The hostess is good. The son is also great. Kind, human. Brought the girl with the baby. He loves his wife, does not offend his stepson. They live soul to soul. Yes, and we are not poor. Bought a car. Let not a new one, but a good owner. He looked after her like he was his own. So now we can go fishing and picking mushrooms.”

It all depends on how we perceive reality. Do you want to see failure in everything? You will see her! Of course, this does not mean that you need to lower the bar of life requirements and always be content with little. However, it is important to look for the positives in everything.

Where do legs grow from?

Self-esteem depends on upbringing. Did your parents teach you to enjoy life, not to lose heart if something doesn’t work out? This means that a person will grow up adequate, ready for life's troubles.

If a mother constantly tells a child: “You shame me!”, Then he will continue to associate himself with the cause of the shame of other people. From childhood, he was given an attitude that he adheres to. So praise your children. Do not skimp on words of support, love, recognition of children's abilities. After all, it depends on this whether your child will grow up successful or not.

Rewire your mind to the fact that you are no worse than everyone else. And in some ways, maybe even better. Remember all your positive qualities. Develop them. You need to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Just evaluate objectively, and not relying on someone else's opinion.

Take a piece of paper, divide it into two parts. Describe your negative qualities, and on the other hand, your positive ones. Only include your most serious shortcomings as negative. To the positive - even the smallest nuances. Are you good at baking pancakes? Or maybe you can hang a shelf in the bathroom yourself? All of these are sheer pluses. Note - these are your pluses!

Love yourself. Without it simple rule failures will mow you down to the root until the end of your days. Are you unlucky in some way? Or in some situation you did not behave in the best way? Stop punishing yourself, everyone does bad things. People differ only in whether a person knows how to correct the situation and move on, or not.

The main enemy of self-confidence

Why have we jumped from success and failure to self-confidence? Because it is impossible to be lucky and not believe in yourself. It is important to identify cause and effect here. Luck (contrary to popular belief) is not a cause, but a consequence. A person first believes in himself, and then he is lucky.

Look at the "lucky ones". Do they look insecure? Or do they radiate calmness and self-confidence? Most likely the second. Therefore, you should look for your uniqueness, originality - and there success will not keep you waiting. However, the advice to "be like them" would be wrong. You don't have to be like anyone else. Only for herself. With its advantages and disadvantages.

This originality should be within reason - there is absolutely no need to dye your hair bright orange, put an earring in it or go to Red Square to sing "Harry Krishna". But reading Murakami, which is completely uninteresting to you, or listening to Beethoven just because almost everyone does it, is at least stupid.

Failure is the path to success

Have you ever wondered why people are so afraid of the possibility of failure? They are afraid to look bad in the eyes of others, to be worse than others, to be far from perfect. This is the cause of depression, self-doubt, discontent of others. Someone once came up with the standards that everyone must meet. As they corresponded to them, a person was declared more or less perfect. Perfect mind. Perfect body. A complete loser.

Failure is subjective. But, be that as it may, something happens in life, we get upset, complain that we are unlucky. The editor did not accept the book, did not give a bank loan, did not get a good mark. Failures look different for everyone, but they are frustrating and scary for everyone.

People stop doing things in fear of failing again. The writer, frightened by the first refusal, puts the manuscript on the table and stops writing. The student drops out of school in fear that he will not pass the session and will be dishonored by the whole group. The family continues to rent an apartment instead of taking out a mortgage and moving into their own apartment.

But luck was so close! A week was enough for a student to learn the subject. The writer could hand over the manuscript to another publisher, get a larger fee. The family was waiting for a loan at a nearby bank, which they never reached. All the gifts of fate are wasted. And all just because people are afraid of failure.

Therefore, the worst thing you can do is to be afraid of failure. The more you fear them, the more they happen. And that makes you feel like a big loser. It turns out a vicious circle, which is very difficult to break. But still it is possible, so in no case do not despair, even if you have already got into it.

Proper awareness of failure

To stop being afraid, to finally become a happy person, you need to understand that failure is not a defeat, but another step towards success. You must be firmly convinced that you will achieve your goal. And no temporary obstacles will prevent you from doing this. Firmly grasp this truth and all the tasks in this life will become your shoulder.

Remember your childhood. Here you are learning to roller skate. Get up, fall, roll, fall again. However, despite all the failures, it doesn’t even occur to you to stop learning. Sooner or later, you easily and naturally roll down the street on roller skates, not even remembering yesterday's abrasions. Here it is an example of how failure helps to achieve your goal in life.

And how are you different from that kid in a protective helmet with elbow pads? Just a lack of self-confidence. After all, then you knew for sure that you would roller skate. They were absolutely not afraid of anything, The child does not have the thought that something will not work out for him. But time passes, children grow up. Today, you criticize every action you take. Hence all your failures.

There is another noteworthy theory of the existence of failures. According to philosophers, the more obstacles that arise in your path, the closer you come to the goal. So don't turn around in the opposite direction. Don't drop the target halfway to it. Who knows, maybe your goal is hiding behind another wall that has stood in your way? And you, having broken 100 walls, despaired, decided that you were a loser and there would be no sense anyway, stopped in front of the last, 101 wall?!

How self-motivation works

Now that all the ins and outs of failures have been revealed, let's learn how to get rid of past fears, clichés, and prejudices. What is needed for this? Motivation to achieve success and avoid failure. Let's take a look at what you need to do:

Hope for the best, but always prepare for the worst

This old folk wisdom is still relevant today. Come to terms with the idea that there have been, are, and will be failures. Mass layoffs at work? Be mentally prepared to be among those who have prepared a payslip. But do not fall into depression, feeling sorry for yourself - a poor unfortunate person who was not appreciated.

Better think about the fact that the boss constantly allowed himself to raise his voice, colleagues loved to gossip, and the salary was low. If this is the situation, why not use it to your advantage? Start sending out resumes, very soon you will be surprised to find that there are many companies ready to appreciate your abilities.

If you build your life in this way, you will be ready for trouble and will always meet it fully armed. This does not mean that it is always necessary to look for the negative, to expect only unpleasant surprises from life - life is beautiful! But you need to protect yourself so as not to end up in an unpleasant situation.

Change your attitude to circumstances

In addition, change your attitude to undesirable consequences as quickly as possible. Getting upset every time - no nerves are enough. Fired from your job and you haven't found a new job yet? So, you can finally relax, sleep. You will be able to dress the way you want, and not as required by the dress code. And there will be work - there would be a neck, but there will be a collar. The harsh realities of life.

New life

Have a rest? Did you get enough sleep? And now forward - in search new work, a new girlfriend, a new home, or even a new husband! If you do not give up, then you will definitely succeed and sooner or later you will bear the proud title successful person! Moreover, you yourself will already be able to give advice on how to become one.

What to do for career success

To be successful at work, you need to do the following:

• Be passionate about your work, and for this it is absolutely necessary to love the work you are doing.
• Bring something of your own to your favorite work: develop an individual style of achieving goals, create your own brand, your own chip.
• Recognize the importance of what you do for society. For example, if you are a marketer, then your task is to get as many people as possible to know about your company's unique product and improve their lives with it.
• Be active and proactive. Do not wait for some received tasks and assignments; read literature, be interested in new developments in your field, offer management options for improving the company's work.
• Do not waste time on unnecessary things, such as sitting in in social networks. Better use it for real relaxation or to achieve your goals.
• Become a first-class specialist in a fairly narrow but in-demand area - then you will be in demand.

Success and business

The exercise "I am in the future" will be useful. Often it seems to us that goals are achieved in the following way: the present determines the future, and how you are in the present depends on your achievement of the goal. However, this is not entirely true: in order to subsequently achieve success, you need to become in the present what you will be in the future. Therefore, imagine yourself in every detail, successful in business, and be aware of what qualities you possess. Then, all that remains for you is to develop the appropriate skills, abilities, character traits.

Proper goal setting is important. Visualize in detail what you want to achieve. Remember that a good goal is the key to the competent development of any business project.

The target must have the following characteristics:

• Responsible - it must be formulated in the first person.
• Specific - everything should be displayed in the wording: how much, where, when and how.
• Real - for example, wanting to become immortal at the present stage of the development of science is not entirely realistic.
• Include perfective verbs "do" or "do".
• Inspirational - it is useless to set goals that you do not want to achieve and the achievement of which does not motivate you.
• Positive - in the formulation of the goal there should not be any "not".

Any success is real and achievable. You need to set the right goal, constantly do something to achieve it, be responsible for your life, be its author and have a positive attitude towards other people. Then success will not be long in coming!

There is hardly a person who, at least deep down, does not dream of career growth, because career success is a kind of springboard to a prosperous future. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds in building a successful career. So what should a person who wants to achieve certain career heights be able to do? What qualities should he develop?

Self confidence

Self-confidence is the first and most important step on the road to success. It is important to try to let others know that you are able to make any decisions on your own, constantly monitor the work process and are always ready to answer for your words. If you start behaving like a boss, then very soon you can become one. The most important thing is to keep working hard and not accidentally confuse confidence with arrogance.

Ability to negotiate

Most often, the ability to negotiate is the only way to achieve what you want. Are you scared to negotiate because you've never done it before? But you have to start somewhere! And to overcome fear, you can read an interesting book on this topic or even attend an exciting training. To develop such a valuable skill, all means are good!

By the way, written negotiations are just as important. Therefore, it is imperative to improve your business correspondence skills. Every professional letter should be crafted to be proud of!

Ability to defend one's opinion

Some employees mistakenly believe that any tasks assigned to them must be unconditionally carried out exactly in the form in which they were assigned, and the style of management must be put up with, regardless of its adequacy. However, the most important professional skill is the ability to defend your opinion, so do not be afraid to do this.

Clear planning system

If you're aiming for career success, be sure to plan your day. You can make a work plan on your phone or on a computer, or you can use a diary or even an ordinary piece of paper. The main thing is to find the best way to manage all the cases outlined in this plan.

In addition, it is advisable to draw up a plan in case of force majeure. For example, almost no organization is immune from bankruptcy, and if you find it difficult to answer the question of what you will do if you become unemployed, it's time to sit down and draw up a plan. Even if you have to part with your favorite workplace, at least you will have an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhich direction to move on.

Constant movement towards the goal

Not a single day should be wasted. To achieve your cherished goal, you need to move constantly, albeit sometimes slowly, but surely. This process must be continuous. And do not doubt our abilities, because often we ourselves set barriers for ourselves.

Invest in yourself

You should never spare time and money for self-development and self-improvement. To always remain in demand as an employee, you need to constantly develop your skills. By the way, it is absolutely not necessary in this case to go to get another higher education- developmental trainings and courses are also quite suitable. The main thing is not to stand still.

Portfolio the best works

To show your level of professionalism, make a portfolio of your best work. By the way, a portfolio can include anything - photographs, sketches, complex reports that you managed to successfully complete, or even plans for your projects. marketing research and companies. A portfolio is the best way to show management what you are capable of.

Presentable appearance

Presentable appearance is another important factor determining success in a career, especially if a woman builds a career.

The beauty portal MyCharm.ru is called upon to reveal all the secrets of female attractiveness. This is a real beauty encyclopedia, where you can always find descriptions of popular trends and the best novelties in all areas of cosmetology. And choose the right cosmetics an impressive catalog of cosmetics with reviews and reviews of a wide variety of products will help. With MyCharm.ru you will always be on top!

Calm perception of objections and comments

In order to achieve career heights, it is extremely important to learn how to calmly perceive any objections and comments. Sometimes it is even useful to find out exactly where you do not live up to the expectations of others - this will help you develop and improve further. If you take each remark to heart, self-esteem will begin to fall, and career opportunities will be pushed back indefinitely. That is why you need to try to perceive all comments adequately and professionally.

Ability to deal with stress

It is very important to deal with any stresses in a timely manner, otherwise stresses can begin to control you, gradually destroying your life and nullifying all past successes. That is why you need to try to “press” stress in the bud. If you cannot cope with it on your own, be sure to contact a specialist.

The ability to say "no"

As practice shows, many people do not know how to say “no”. However, for further professional growth this skill is essential. However, it is equally important for career growth and mental health. If you want to insist on your own - feel free to say "no" and do not follow anyone's lead.

Delegation of powers

Nobody can ever do everything. And this, in principle, is quite normal. But how do you deal with unrealistic workloads? The answer is simple: you need to be able to delegate authority. For example, to do the most important things yourself, and delegate the current routine tasks to interns or less busy colleagues.

Complete renunciation of hatred and envy

It is completely pointless to waste your time on these negative feelings. More successful people have always been and always will be. Being angry at others can leave you without a long-awaited promotion, so it's better to direct your energy in the right direction.

Praise for your own victories

For your victories, albeit minor ones, you must definitely praise yourself. If you overfulfilled the plan, stayed after work to hand in an important report, or did some work best of all - it's time to praise yourself from the bottom of your heart! Just do not ascribe to yourself other people's merits, so as not to be captured by megalomania.

Choice of an emerging field

If you do not leave the desire to move forward and prove yourself with better side, it is important to try to pay attention to the industry that will make it possible to implement all these ideas. A sphere without a future and without clear prospects is not the best start for a brilliant career.

To determine your vocation and choose a suitable place of work, it does not hurt to take the advice of astrologers - they will help you understand whether you have decided to move in the right direction. Remember: planning a career in accordance with your personal horoscope is another essential component of success, and here you can help women's magazine"MyJane.ru" with its various horoscopes.

You need to clearly define for yourself what exactly you plan to achieve, and act in this direction. Only in this case, the result will not only justify all your expectations, but can also exceed them many times over!