Change for the better first. How a girl can change her life for the better: psychology, useful tips

How to change in better side for a girl, advice.

I think many girls, for various reasons, may have a desire to change for the better. At the same time, change can mean both the desire to change one's character, and habits, or behavior.

The reason for such changes may be the fear of losing good relationships with relatives, friends, lovers. And also, unwillingness to lose a job, because of bad relations with colleagues and superiors, or “fly out” of an educational institution.

That is, there can be many reasons for revising one's habits, life values ​​and positions. How to change for the better and will be discussed in this article.

But, first, it is worth considering the reasons why this aspiration may remain an unfulfilled dream.

What are the challenges you face on the path to change?

Often, the desire to change for the better remains an unfulfilled desire. And, as a rule, the easiest way is to find the culprit in your failures than to admit that the reason is in yourself.

In general, there are several main and, one might say, decisive factors that are often the reason that prevents a girl from changing:

• Life problems.
• Weak character, in connection with which, the girl can follow the lead of the people around her, not have her own "I" and her own opinion.
• People with whom the girl communicates and their attitude towards her.

But, I think, the most important reason may be the emerging fear of future changes. The process of change for the better will not be the easiest.

Indeed, in some cases, it may turn out that the girl will go against the opinion of loved ones, friends and other factors. But, nevertheless, this should not be afraid of this, you need to believe in yourself and your own strengths.

Just get ready for the fact that this process can take a long time before you can make noticeable progress to achieve the desired result.

Think about what qualities you do not like about yourself in order to eliminate them in the first place. But, at the same time, do not forget that gradually removing unnecessary qualities, do not forget about the development of your positive sides and character traits.

purple bracelet

Faced with the question of how to change for the better for a girl, after overcoming internal obstacles, it is worth gradually starting to move forward towards your goal.

To do this, you can use a method such as "Purple Bracelet". The whole point is that the purple bracelet must be worn for three weeks, that is, 21 days.

During this period of time, it is required to exclude any complaints, irritation, foul language and gossip, that is, to remove any negative thoughts from your life.

All three weeks the girl will have to think only positively. If she violates the conditions and starts, for example, swearing or thinking negatively, then the bracelet will have to be changed to the other hand and the countdown of 21 days will start again.

As practice shows, such a method allows you to learn not only to think positively, but also to develop self-control.

To start changing for the better, you can use the following tips:

1. Get rid of bad habits. Of course, immediately, alcohol, or overeating, is very difficult. But still, it is worth trying to start this business and gradually, reducing the number of cigarettes smoked, alcohol drunk, or eaten per day, you can eventually get rid of them;
2. Do good deeds. But don't do it to your detriment. In general, by doing good deeds, you can not only change your own opinion about yourself, but also the opinion of the people around you;
3. Try to learn to see the good in your loved ones and instead of criticism, try to understand and accept them. Try to put yourself in their place, look at any situation from their point of view;
4. Learn to think only in a positive way, look for the positive in everything, because everything that is done will lead to the best;
5. Try to create a strong, trusting relationship with your soul mate, instead of criticizing, focus your attention on the positive traits of his character. After all, it is difficult for a person to live without love, this feeling is a wonderful motivator in order to become better;
6. Try to learn to control your emotions and admit your mistakes. If you can keep your emotions under control and learn to switch from the source of irritation to something positive, then you will be less nervous. And such a quality as self-criticism is sometimes very useful;
7. Learn to be honest not only with yourself, but also with the people around you, do not be afraid to ask for forgiveness if you are wrong;
8. Keep your word and keep your promises. After all, such people are not only listened to, but also respected;
9. Try to look good, watch your appearance. If necessary, change your style of dress, or change your hair, makeup, mannerisms, and other character traits. Create your own individual image in which you will feel as confident and comfortable as possible;
10. Try to do self-development, read more, study, learn new things. You can attend any self-development courses.

Outcome

Answering the question of how to change for the better for a girl, I would like to say the following - this process can be quite complicated and lengthy.

Focuses only on certain areas of life and neglects others.
For example, if he is interested in finding himself and self-realization, he may not think about physical development. If he is interested in his figure or personal life, he may not think about a career or finances, etc.

But, as practice shows, this approach is a mistake.
In order to achieve results in any of the areas of life, one must not forget both the entire personal strategy and those specific areas that seem unimportant to you, but actually play a significant role. This is the only way to solve a specific issue and change life in general.

If you don't know where to start, start by improving your appearance.

Here is what a famous plastic surgeon and psychiatrist says:

When you change a person's face, you almost always change their future as well. By changing his idea of ​​his appearance, in almost all cases you change the person himself - his individual qualities, behavior - and sometimes even talents and abilities❞

This statement applies not only to the cardinal alteration of oneself through plastic surgery, but also to all positive changes in appearance. Having lost five kilograms or made a new hairstyle, you begin to perceive yourself differently, you feel more confident and attractive.

Analyze your habits

The next step is habits. Our habits are at the core of our character. Remember the famous aphorism of Aristotle, which is familiar to many from childhood:

❝If you sow a thought, you will reap an action; you sow an act, you reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; you sow a character, you reap a destiny.

Habits are patterns of our behavior that govern our lives. Are we really going to let them decide everything for us, following their lead?

Method: Carefully analyze each of your habits and its impact on your life. Eliminate those that interfere with yours, replace them with new, useful habits.

For those who really decided to work on themselves, I offer the Success Diary - a classic diary with applications for achieving success and working on yourself

4. Conditioned reflexes
No wonder the scientist Pavlov tormented dogs: conditioned reflexes are the basis of the foundations. With this key, you can form any habit you need.

Method: Repetitive actions with reinforcement develop new skills and habits. When a new skill is fixed, it will go into and you will do everything automatically, unloading your brain for new achievements.
Reward yourself for success or take something away if you backtrack on your plan to change yourself. Let your new quality be necessary and desirable for you.

5. Eradication
What cannot be converted into a plus, just eradicate.

How to identify your negative qualities and how to see yourself from the outside, read the article. You can also download a table of negative human properties.

6. Double life
The technique is suitable for developing new character traits and more significant changes in oneself.

Method: Imagine yourself the way you want to be. Rehearse the new role mentally over and over again. To be more convincing, buy things that will help you get into character and emphasize your new qualities. Wear them only for your second life.
Your environment is unlikely to immediately accept you new, so communicate with those who do not know you! Rehearse your new qualities on them. How much will they believe in your image? And if something does not work out, you can always change the place and environment, and try again.

7. Use your imagination

In the course of the experiment, it was proved that if a person spends a certain period of time daily in front of a target, imagining himself throwing darts at it, then his results will improve to the same extent as if he really threw darts at the target every day.

Mental images allow us to "practice" new relationships and character traits that would otherwise be unattainable. Our nervous system is not able to distinguish reality from what our imagination vividly painted. When we imagine ourselves doing something in some particular way, it is almost the same as actually doing it. Mental practice helps to achieve perfection.

Method: Every day in the morning and before going to bed, mentally imagine yourself the way you aspire to be. How you speak, how you move, what you wear, how you react to situations. Do it over and over. This imaginary picture will have a strong influence on your behavior. And remember, how you see yourself from the inside largely determines how others see you and others.

8. Shock
If you want to change yourself but still don't find enough motivation to start, let failure be your motivation.

Method: Associate with people who will openly despise you. Use other people's ridicule to your advantage. Prove to them that you can be better, prettier, smarter. This method has never failed.

9. Alien
Often with our loved ones, we behave like a pig. Hamim, we neglect them and do not respect them at all. Whereas with strangers we are completely different, especially with superiors. If you want to change your behavior, try this method.

Method: Imagine in the place of the father or mother a complete stranger to you, whom you want to impress. Treat them like a boss on whom your salary depends. Try to look at them from a distance, as if seeing them for the first time.

10. Tune in

Method: change the environment and communicate with the people you want to be like. Adopt their habits, their way of thinking. In every success book, communication with successful people, how does it work?

In the course of communication with another person, we tune in to his wave - to the mentality of the interlocutor and his worldview. Without this, communication is impossible. As a result of this adjustment, we temporarily change our ideas, stereotypes of thinking and behavior, to someone else's. And the more often this happens, that is, the more often we communicate, the more we adopt until someone else's picture of the world becomes ours.

11. Cold shower of the "future"
When you really grow up and think about the future, you suddenly realize that it would be time to get rid of many habits and character traits. The thought of what will soon have to be built new life with family - sobering. I no longer want to overspend, be optional, drink all night with friends.

Method: Think about the future and the life you want to have, and figure out for yourself how you need to change and what habits to eradicate.

But I want to warn you don't take on too much. Weakly amenable to change innate temperament.

An introvert (a person deep in himself), of course, can change and become his opposite - an extrovert. But he will soon get tired of this “role” and will be unhappy, being in plain sight, secretly wanting to be alone with himself and his thoughts. There will be a feeling of emptiness. It arises from the loss of energy, because introverts draw it from within themselves, and only spend it in communication with others. It becomes clear that to lead such a long life is difficult and exhausting.

Be sure to record your wins and losses in a Success Diary, which is a must-have if you are aiming for serious results.

Or maybe you don't need to change?

Find your circle where you will be accepted as you are and there you will be happy. Everyone has their own value system and it is quite possible that your dream is to change and become more popular, successful, etc. will not bring the desired joy.

Or sublimate your energy into creativity. How can this incomprehensible Freudian term help us? The fact that we can redirect ourselves, life, others into creativity, using the protective mechanisms of our psyche.

Leonardo da Vinci, the great painter, scientist and engineer did just that. Whatever he took on, he brought it to perfection. However, it is reliably known that he had no interest in sex. Similar sublimation can be seen in many creative people. They simply cannot create when they are happy.

Sublimate (redirect) your energy and desires into creativity, to new hobbies. Are you a bespectacled man with a bad figure and therefore experience difficulties with the opposite sex? There are two ways out here - to change by working on yourself: exhausting workouts plus pickup courses. Or - find the passion of your life and create. We miss your talent so much!

As you change yourself, don't forget to change the space around you. Tidy up a cluttered apartment and change your wardrobe, how to do it easily and quickly - in Erin Doland's motivating book "Simplify Your Life" ().

Reading time 9 minutes

Just think... How often do we complain about our lives. Friends betray, loved ones deceive, chaos and injustice reigns around. At the same time, we do not even think that all the problems are in our head. To turn your life in a different direction, you need to start with yourself. This article will help you figure out how to change yourself for the better, how to love yourself and how to make a plan for self-development.

Man is a multifaceted, emotional being. Each of us has formed the concept of good and evil, views on life, attitude towards others. However, sooner or later we think about the need to change the character in order to become better. This is a rather difficult task, but with a serious attitude, the result will not be long in coming.

Why is it so hard to change?

The main reason lies in the unwillingness to admit the problem. It is much easier for us to shift the blame to others, coincidence or fate. At the same time, each person is convinced that he should be perceived as he is. In fact, this is the wrong position. To achieve a positive result, you need to work hard on yourself.
There are a number of reasons why a person does not dare to change, prefers to remain in the warm embrace of his own delusions:

• Environment. This factor plays a huge role in the formation of character. The support of friends and family will help you achieve your goal. And vice versa, if a person is constantly told that he is a loser, that he can’t do anything and won’t achieve anything, he will believe in it, and eventually give up. Surround yourself with kind, understanding people;
• Weak character. You see a problem, you understand that it needs to be solved, but you don’t have enough strength to start;
• Difficulties. We often say that life is not fair. It gives many tests to some, less to others. To cope with any life difficulties, staying afloat is a real skill.

But how can you change yourself for the better? Our conservative self often prevents us from breaking the foundations of our own lives. It seems that it will do, nothing needs to be changed, all the same, it is stable. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to prepare yourself for difficulties, be patient and take your will into a fist.

How to find strength in yourself and become better?

We are accustomed to endure to the last and remain silent, leave with lowered eyes. We do not dare to take a risk, to take a confident step towards a better life. It seems impossible for us to forget the past, let go of old grievances, conquer our own fears. Our fears and anxieties make it difficult to breathe deeply, to feel love for ourselves.

Surely you are tormented by the question of how to change yourself for the better. First, look around and try to identify what is pulling you down. If you are surrounded by a lot of ill-wishers, change your social circle.

Learn to appreciate what you have. You may not have purchased a luxurious house, but you have a cozy apartment. You don't have enough money to beautiful life? But they love you, they wait, they care about you, and this is worth a lot. Learn to say "thank you" for what is given to you by fate.

Everyone is familiar with the word "little thing". We often say that it is not worth paying attention to the little things, but our whole life consists of them! Try to notice small pleasures every day. Very soon you will notice that life is much brighter, more beautiful. You will forget about depression and laziness.

Psychologists say that positive instructions can make thinking bright and actions decisive.
Just think, there are 365 days in a year. You can plan every day, week, month, set small goals, gradually go towards them. Do you want to live better, but do not know how to change yourself for the better? Take responsibility for your life.

5 Step Personal Development Plan

Not everyone knows how to draw up a self-development plan, what it is for. With the help of such a plan, you will be able to clearly prioritize, define goals and choose a path to achieve them. Don't be in a hurry. To understand what items you want to include in it, be completely alone and think about what you really desire.

Step 1: needs

At this stage, your task is to understand what you want to change. This will depend on your further actions. You need to understand what goals you will implement. You should not set global goals, there is a risk that you will break loose and return to your comfort zone again. It is better to engage in self-development gradually, moving from one task to another. If you like to sleep long, you can start by learning how to get up early;

Step 2: understanding

Before you begin to change your character and habits, you should understand whether you need it and why. At this stage, it does not matter what you want to achieve, it is much more important to have an irresistible desire, as well as willpower. If you realize that you are ready to leave your comfort zone forever and change, you can safely move on to the next stage;

Step 3: Knowing Yourself

Once you have set your goals, move on to introspection. At this stage, you need to understand what will help you in their implementation, and what is the opposite, what negative and positive traits of your character you can highlight. You shouldn't deceive yourself. Be as critical as possible. You can take a piece of paper, write down all the qualities that you can highlight. To compare whether your opinion coincides with the opinion of loved ones, you can give them a leaflet with the result;

Step 4: developing a strategy

You have successfully passed three stages and are ready to change the character, as well as the quality of life. Now start drawing up a plan of action. At this stage, do not contact friends or family. You should evaluate your own strengths, this will help you understand what you are ready to do. If you have planned to say goodbye to smoking forever, consider whether you can do it abruptly or better gradually. For reliability, write down the action plan on paper and hang it in the most visible place;

Step 5: Actions

This is the final stage of the self-development plan. Now the most important thing is to start working on yourself right now, without putting off until tomorrow. If you don't take action, everything preparatory stages will lose their meaning. Forget excuses! Take the first step boldly without anxiety or excitement. Along the way, you can write down your results, small victories over yourself. Gradually, you will be able to adjust the plan and find a way to change yourself for the better.

With the knowledge of how to make a self-development plan, you will achieve your goal faster, and you can also change your life.

In this matter, much depends on self-esteem. If a person is confident in his abilities and capabilities, he will quickly reach his goal.

Relationship between self-esteem and quality of life

It is important to understand that self-esteem is one of the main components of the personality of each person. People with high self-esteem achieve success faster, are not afraid of obstacles and cope with any difficulties.

Insecure people prefer to act as spectators. They do not show initiative, do not express their opinion. As a result, they experience dissatisfaction with life and fall into depression. Low self-esteem develops during early childhood. A child who is deprived of the support and love of his parents will not be able to objectively assess his capabilities.

Self-esteem of a person depends on 2 main factors:

• internal(attitude towards oneself, susceptibility to criticism, features of character or appearance);
• External(attitude of others).

It's no secret that all problems come from childhood and the peculiarities of family upbringing can leave an indelible mark on a person's character. If the child does not feel comfortable at home, he closes himself in the company of peers, which may make them want to mock him. Gradually, problems accumulate, and low self-esteem is formed.

Also big role plays appearance. If a person does not like his body or appearance, he will not be able to feel confident. However, this is not a reason to withdraw into yourself. To radically change the situation and understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to do a lot of work.

Fortunately, even in adulthood, a person can get rid of this problem and feel love for himself. Self-esteem has a lot to do with immunity. The higher it is, the easier it is for a person to overcome life's difficulties, accept criticism and achieve what he wants.

An insecure person is afraid to take rash steps and is influenced by the public. To increase self-esteem, a person needs to love himself and believe in himself.

How to boost a woman's self-esteem

A woman needs to love and appreciate herself. Low self-esteem makes her shy and withdrawn. With such a woman it is difficult to find a common language and build a good relationship. In addition, few people think about how she feels at the same time. It is unlikely that a huge number of complexes brings her pleasure.

There are many ways to help the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity believe in themselves:

Features of male self-esteem

By nature, a man has no right to be weak and weak-willed. Otherwise, he will not be able to take a meaningful place in society and life. Men often ask themselves the question of how to change themselves for the better and succeed.

To stay afloat, the stronger sex needs to keep the body and mind in good shape. It's no secret that erudite athletic men have no reason to self-flagellate. They are successful and know what they want. Going in for sports helps a man to throw out negative emotions and gives a feeling of calmness.

Do not forget about self-respect and value your time. If you notice people in your circle of friends who prefer to assert themselves at your expense, refuse to communicate with them. You won't lose anything.

Are you not appreciated at work? Change jobs. To a modern man, this may seem like a careless decision, but the result will not be long in coming. When you find a job where your efforts are appreciated, your life will sparkle with new colors.

Do not forget that all people are completely different, so do not constantly compare yourself with others. You need to focus only on your abilities, desires. Strive for your goals, based on your experience, strength.
Many men attach too much importance to the opinions of others. Such a position makes them closed. To increase self-esteem, learn to express your opinion and not be afraid that at this moment you will look funny or someone will not understand you.

To understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to understand what hinders your development, what character traits make you closed and start working on your mistakes. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, admit your mistakes.

The main thing is not to give up!

Much depends on the person's appearance. However, this is not a reason to reproach yourself. Everyone can make an effort and become better. For example, change your hairstyle or hair color, sign up for a gym and tidy up your body. It is impossible to change yourself by sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself. You should always strive for the best, to become better.
Since working on ourselves is not easy work, much depends on our habits.

21 days to change: man and habits

A habit is an action that a person performs automatically. It depends on his physical, psychological and emotional state.

Habits are the basis of our character. There are two main types of habits: good, bad. It is worth noting that bad habits are developed much faster, moreover, they do not require any effort. But in order to develop a useful habit, a person needs to overcome a number of physical and psychological barriers.

How to change yourself for the better with the help of good habits? Today, many people talk about the 21-day rule. According to him, a person can develop good habits within 21 days. The question is, is this or is it?
It should be said right away that this figure was not taken from the ceiling. Scientists had to conduct many experiments to come to the conclusion that such a period is needed for the formation of habits.

First of all, you need to learn how to bring things to the end. If you decide to change in 21 days, do not back down. Take a piece of paper, write down 10-15 habits that will help you become better. Pick the one that interests you the most and get started. The main condition is that you must perform this action daily.

It takes a lot of effort and patience to form a habit. Therefore, think carefully about whether you need this or that habit. For example, you decide to read historical books in the evenings, but after a while you notice that this process does not bring you any pleasure. In this case, it is better to abandon this venture.

How to change yourself for the better: conclusions

How to change yourself for the better? Start appreciating people! Learn to respect others, their needs, preferences. There is no shame in being kind. Treating other people with understanding, you can look at your life from an unexpected angle.

It is important to understand that working on yourself is an incredibly difficult task that requires a lot of time and effort. But if the decision to change is final, do not deviate from the path. Remember, people attract what they think about. Be patient, take small steps closer to your dream, getting better every day.
Do what you love, don't be afraid to experiment, enjoy life. After all, every day is special and unique.

Every person at least once in his life had the thought that he could not do something. These reflections are accompanied by experiences. Someone is able to find the cause in the outside world, and someone is trying to look into himself. And it is in the second case that quite often the question arises of how to change yourself for the better. It should be noted right away that this will be very, very difficult to achieve. And the biggest challenge is change. Not everyone is mentally prepared for them.

Sometimes a little is enough

Probably, everyone knows the proverb, which says that if there is a desire to change the world, then you need to start with yourself. In this review, we will not raise the issue of changes in the world. First you need to figure out how to change yourself for the better. And first of all, you need to determine what your problems are related to. You can change, for example, hairstyle. Thanks to this, you will be noticed by a person who is nearby, say, in public transport. He will want to get acquainted, you will start a relationship, a family will be formed, children will be born, and you will be able to become happy. What is the reason? And the fact that earlier you simply did not dare to change your hairstyle.

Even such a modest example can demonstrate that it is usually difficult for a person to find an answer to the question of how to change himself for the better. If he ceases to be afraid of change, then in his life, most likely, success will await him.

Create a list of problems

You can start with the most simple steps. Do you want to know how to change yourself for the better? Just create a list that will list the main reasons that prevent you from developing. You can note not only those problems that are in yourself. Everything should be written on a piece of paper. If it is impossible to formulate, then you can consult with loved ones. However, it is best to express your own thoughts. And know that not all the people with whom you have established communication can wish you well. And you can not say that they want you harm. They do not care.

In this regard, it can be noted that if you do not know how to change yourself for the better, become kinder, then you must independently create a list of the main reasons that prevent you from achieving what you want, or consult with the closest people you trust. Do not be afraid that the formation of the list may take several days. This is within the normal range, since it is impossible to remember everything at once. However, over time, you will have to form pairs consisting of a problem and its cause.

It is desirable to compile the list in such a way that internal and external flaws listed separately. For this, it is worth taking two sheets in order to clearly see what you need to fight. However, you should remember that it is much easier to change yourself than the people around you.

You have to deal with your problems

So, you asked yourself how to change yourself and your life for the better, and also formed a list of problems that prevent you from doing this. Now you can see your "enemy". It is with him that we must fight. And first of all, you need to start fighting with those shortcomings that are hidden in yourself. It is necessary to determine in what ways you can solve your problems, and write them on the same piece of paper. Naturally, you may be visited by the thought that such paperwork is not able to help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better externally and internally. However, it is not. In the event that you only think about your problem, you can forget about some of the ways to solve it. And in the form fixed on paper, they will be kept safe and sound. In addition, the list of solutions can be significantly reduced by analyzing and excluding what does not play a significant role. It's hard to do this mentally.

There won't be an easy way

And if you sat down at the table in order to make a list, despite the large amount of time that this may require, then this means that internally you led yourself to change.

It is worth preparing in advance for the fact that it simply will not happen. All goals are achieved gradually. Therefore, the problems will be solved not in one day, but at least in a few months. And in some situations, the period can be up to one year. And it should be understood that all long-term solutions to problems should be divided into separate points.

What will help you achieve what you want?

This is just one option on how to change yourself for the better. Self-development can occur with the help of other principles. They should be considered in more detail.

Having analyzed your problems and formed a specific action plan, you need to start implementing it. And the most important thing that needs to be done at this stage is to systematically repeat the solutions to the tasks set. You shouldn't take breaks. You will have to wait until the dream turns into reality.

Don't Forget About Your Feelings

In case you want to find ready list decisions, but could not do it, then you need to independently form an action plan. At this stage, you need to listen to yourself, take into account your intuition and rely only on the available resources. In addition, it is necessary to open up to external influences and begin to perceive incoming information. In order for this stage to pass more effectively, you need to try to achieve a state of complete calm.

Need to live in the present

You should remember such an expression as "live here and now." It can help answer the question of how to change yourself for the better. A teenager or an adult needs to fully concentrate on what is happening at the present moment in time. You should not be distracted by dreams and thoughts about the future. Just implement the previously formed plan here and now. This kind of thinking is a bit like meditation. With it, you can get rid of everything superfluous, from what gives a feeling of discomfort. At the same time, you can achieve what you want quickly enough, without being distracted by unnecessary emotions.

Keep moving forward

At the moment when there is no strength left on the emotional level to move forward on the path to change, you should move on to physical activity. For example, you can go to the pool or gym. This will not only relax you, but also help you gain confidence. What you want will get closer.

You need to persevere towards your goal. Self-improvement should not stop even for a second. The former way of life must be forgotten completely and irrevocably. Even the smallest step to the side can shift you to the very beginning, to where you started your development.

Treat the manifestations of life calmly

Embrace your life in all its manifestations. No need to try to change something from the outside. Be calm about everything. Change your attitude to what previously caused only bad emotions in you. At this stage, you must come to terms with the surrounding reality. Accordingly, you can devote all the main attention only to yourself, your inner world, self-development.

Conclusion

If you follow all the rules that were listed above, you can achieve what you want. Although it takes a long time, the first results will be noticeable at the very beginning. Only patience will help you reach the end point in your changes. Be prepared for this, and then success will find you.

Reading time: 3 min

How to change for the better? The desire to develop is inherent in humanity by nature, and the desire for positive changes is inherent in everyone literally evolutionarily. The difference is at what stage a person begins to ask the question “how can you change for the better?”. Some people are pushed to such changes by failures and criticism of others, and then the desire for improvement is a defensive reaction, a way to avoid punishment, harassment or public ignorance.

Someone changes for a specific person (to please, earn respect, build a relationship) or relationship (accepting criticism important person and choosing to make certain changes in yourself in order to maintain a meaningful relationship). Someone is inspired by other people's examples, and someone gets bored with the boring gray fuss. New travels, acquaintances, films, illnesses, disasters, breakups - these are all strong incentives to start changes. The leader in the list of reasons forcing people to change is fear, most often the fear of losing or being deprived of the opportunity to get what they want.

The concentration and direction of changes depend on the sphere requiring such changes and the global nature of the solution. If one person has to change their place of residence and occupation in order to realize their dream (and this is a thoughtful path that brings visible results of improvement), then how to change a person for the better (in his own character, course of life and interaction with people) is simple updating your hair or wardrobe remains a mystery.

Each task has its own methods. Therefore, before mindlessly following the advice of ten steps to change yourself, try to understand what qualities you want to change, which ones to improve, to what extent and in what direction you want and are ready to move, what you need for this and what resources you already have. have. And succumbing to fashion trends to improve yourself, when your life suits you, is at least a stupid act, because in the process of change you can lose your old life that completely suited you.

How to change for the better character?

It consists of many habits, developed reactions and ways of responding, so it is not possible to change it completely. Trying to simultaneously get rid of all the qualities that you consider negative and all the habits that somehow interfere with your life is simply an impossible task. Having taken on such a burden, you can hold out for a week, and then break into the previous state, if not in an aggravated form. Break the global task into components, and work simultaneously on one or more qualities, gradually connecting the rest when you cope with the first.

How can a person change for the better if he does not have a starting point of action, i.e. understanding who he is and his inner spiritual world. The solution of any problem begins with study, in the case of a change in character, the need to immerse yourself in the world of one's own experiences becomes peremptory. The first question along the way of this study will be about the reasons for the change. Analyze what events push you to this. Changes made out of a sense of love and self-care will bring beneficial consequences (reducing the tendency to irritate will save you from heart problems, developing the ability to refuse will give you more time for yourself and with loved ones, training perseverance will help you finish the project). At the same time, if you started to reshape your character for the convenience of others, then you will not feel better from such a situation, and the feeling of violence against your own psyche will remain and may return to you in the form of psychosomatics (becoming compliant at the request of others, you will be inundated with their requests , increased rigidity in order to prove something to someone can turn friends away from you, and outwardly good-natured communication with those who betrayed you is fraught with the development of hypertension and peptic ulcer disease).

Listen carefully to what you are changing for and look at the results, who will be easier and more joyful.

In order to change for the better in character, it is necessary to maintain a constant enough high level happiness and self-interest. Re-evaluate your inhibiting beliefs and kick out half of them (staying up because you have to cook a meal, not picking up your last candy, skipping movies in favor of cleaning your house are all examples of things that can bring you bits of happiness and well-being, and you will lose only false beliefs that this is not possible). Every day look for what will bring you joy, make sure that your life is filled with activities, hobbies, entertainment that you enjoy, and are not popular or approved by your friends. Good character does not imply complete adjustment to the world, but it certainly includes an understanding of one's own needs, since only in this way can one understand and accept the differences of others.

How to force yourself to change for the better? Do not delay achieving what is important to you, justifying it as a priority for others now, or, work on your perseverance. Work not to change yourself, but to change life in your direction. You will not be able to become a comfortable copy that fits into the above standards. There will always be those who do not love you and you are free to compete with them, fight, not communicate or look for common ground. There will always be places where you are not in the subject, and you are free to whine and stay there, leave to look for others or create your own. The world is plastic, and self-acceptance helps to find organic ways to fulfill needs, in addition to reshaping one's own personality.

How to change for the better for a girl?

When a crisis broke out in a relationship or a girl who walks around with a silent and dissatisfied face for a week, and the relationship is getting cooler, the guys begin to look for ways to change for the better. The first thing to understand is to prefer action, and the sooner the better, and not to carry out serious Scientific research this problem.

A common mistake guys make in their changes is that they completely focus on the interests of the girl, trying to please or even anticipate her desires. This tactic can help a lot. If before that you absolutely did not pay attention to it, but most often it does not bring results. In order for a girl to become more comfortable and interesting with you, it is necessary to pump her own life and abilities. So instead of constantly annoying your companion, get busy - read a book from a new field for you, sign up for courses, go in for sports, open a new hobby. A person who does not stand still, develops, knows what he wants, attracts attention. By expanding the circle of your own interests, it will be easier for you to understand the girl, more topics for conversation and reasons for spending time together. Self-development is a time-consuming and time-consuming way to improve yourself in the eyes of a girl, but more reliable than a presented bouquet.

Follow not only the development of the inner world, but also your appearance. Take care of the cleanliness and tidy appearance of clothes, the regularity of hygiene procedures, pay special attention to your health (adjust the regimen, nutrition, pastime), exercise different types(beautiful muscles, of course, delight, but dexterity, the ability to handle different types of transport, accuracy will make the girl look with admiring eyes).

How to change for the better for a girl? Look for the positive in everything and tune in to this wave. Good mood, the ability to cheer up, get out of an unpleasant situation with humor - those qualities that women really appreciate in men. And of course, do not forget to take into account the wishes of your companion, because if she voiced a request to be late less often, then the first thing you should work on is your own. Girls usually make it clear what they want from guys, do not neglect her words, because before expressing criticism aloud, she had already kept silent for a while, justified, endured and did everything possible in hers so as not to make claims against you.

How to change for the better for a guy?

Girls, striving for a permanent one, are guided in their activities by two factors: own desires and the wishes of the guys. Usually, in order to become better for a guy, external changes are in the first place. To become more feminine, to change worn out jeans for an airy dress, to learn how to walk in stiletto pumps - this is all an arsenal that women actively use to increase their own attractiveness in the eyes of men. Indeed, appearance plays important role in the formation and emergence of interest, but later they get used to the appearance, and a man will exchange any beautiful doll for a woman with whom he is comfortable and cozy.

Internal change is a more serious and time-consuming process than external transformations. Putting on a dress and looking feminine is the task of several hours, but to remain feminine in your actions, regardless of the wardrobe, is a whole art, which many trainings are now devoted to. But usually guys don't need that much. They are interested in live and real girls who know themselves, their skills, strong and weak sides they know what they want. Internal fullness, reliability, the ability to support in a difficult situation and the ability to understand attract guys and make them stay close.

Know yourself, get involved own development, accept yourself, this world and the guy who is nearby as they are, and you will become better not only for him, you will feel how it became more comfortable and joyful for you to live with yourself, how the world around you began to take care of you. Get more open to the world, develop spontaneity and try to replace criticism and prejudice with an exploratory interest in the opinions and lives of other people - such changes will not leave others indifferent and will give space for the realization of your inner space.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"