If you have a desire to realize your own business idea, and everything must be done successfully, then you will definitely need valuable advice from Dale Carnegie.
Dale Carnegie is a famous American psychologist., writer, part-time teacher. He created courses on self-improvement of the individual and increasing the effectiveness of communication. His books are very popular among businessmen and entrepreneurs who want to achieve high results in their own endeavors.
Dale Carnegie outlined the basic rules for success, which are worth reading in more detail.
Dale Carnegie's First Advice is that any lack of action breeds doubt and fear. Accordingly, any action contributes to the emergence of confidence and courage. To overcome your fear, you need to act, not reason. Carnegie recommended this to his patients who complained of fear and doubt about a certain enterprise. Carnegie, in turn, insisted that action must be taken, especially if there is a good idea. The more you delay your actions, the more you will be afraid. Success can only be achieved by actively working, and not postponing your ideas for later.
Dale Carnegie's Second Advice is that the key to any undertaking is effective use your personal time. Dale Carnegie was convinced that his time must be spent wisely. Do not leave a minute of your time for doubt and anxiety. Instead of thinking about what other people think of you, you should do everything that they can admire. In other words, wasting time analyzing other people's opinions of you is the biggest mistake. You need to spend your precious minutes of time sensibly, turning your ideas into reality, not looking at the fact that they can be even the most ridiculous.
Third tip is that any failures act as the main impetus for further development. Therefore, this kind of test of fate should not be regarded as a punishment. The feeling of experiencing or disappointing failure to some extent makes a person analyze the situation, draw certain conclusions and try to correct their mistakes. Such behavior is the main lever for development.
Fourth tip says that only we ourselves create our own life and determine our happiness. Carnegie was convinced that the happiness of each person does not depend on anything or anyone. None of the external factors can influence this. Dale Carnegie advises everyone to remember that each person chooses what kind of person he should be, happy or not. Happiness is everyone's choice and cannot bring you the world. Happiness is inside a person, inside his thoughts, on which he concentrates all his attention.
Valuable advice from Dale Carnegie also include advice that every human action is, first of all, a message. In modern psychology, there are four ways of human contact that occurs with the world around him. Appearance person, mood, hairstyle - this is a message to the whole world about the state of this person.
Another valuable tip is that you need to do only what you like. Dale Carnegie advises doing what you love, because no person will be able to achieve great heights if he absolutely does not like what he is doing.
"He who does not take risks does not drink champagne." Carnegie believes that without risk, you have no chance of success. Only brave and courageous people can take risks.
Having studied valuable advice from Dale Carnegie, it can be noted that in order to achieve something more in life and find out your capabilities, you need to act and, if necessary, take risks.
Dale Carnegie was born in 1988 in Missouri to a very poor rural family. From childhood he was accustomed to physical labor- woke up no later than three in the morning to milk the cows. He was able to enroll in a pedagogical college on his own, and became the only person in the family who received a good education. From the age of 18, Dale was already known for being an excellent speaker. It is still not known exactly what caused the death of the most famous psychologist. The obituary says that Carnegie died of Hodgkin's disease, however, according to another version, the teacher committed suicide. After Carnegie's death, his books were reprinted dozens of times in almost all languages of the world. During his lifetime, Dale founded his own institute, translated the scientific developments of many psychologists into practical area and was able to develop his concept of a successful and conflict-free person. Despite the fact that Carnegie was born in the nineteenth century and studied pedagogy and psychology at the beginning of the twentieth century, his books and advice do not cease to be relevant in the modern world. Today we present ten "commandments" from a great psychologist that will help you achieve success in work and in communication with colleagues.
Do not put off important things and do not procrastinate. Carnegie believed that procrastination is something that can cause a person to completely lose their potential. In his opinion, a person who puts things off until “later” will never achieve a single goal. If you want to achieve a lot in this life, act without hesitation, and never doubt your own abilities. Do what you like and you will never go astray.
Always believe in yourself. The power of persuasion is the most powerful force in the world. If you feel like you weak person and you do not have enough strength for any business, your brain will always find this evidence. People who believe in themselves can even help other people gain faith. The more you explore yourself and accept your high potential, the faster your self-confidence grows.
Try not to get hung up on minor details. Carnegie was of the opinion that you should not spend all your energy on working out some one insignificant detail. In this case, a person wastes all his energy, and he has neither time nor energy for important things. According to the psychologist, perfectionism is useful, but only in moderation. There is a popular 80/20 principle, which suggests that to get 80 percent of the result at work, it takes a person only 20 percent of the time spent. And to master the remaining 20 percent, a person spends 80 percent of the effort!
Don't refuse help. Many people believe that they can handle everything on their own. This is absolutely not true. If you feel that the potential is running out, accept the help of your friends and colleagues. In addition, Carnegie believed that there is nothing wrong when a person asks for help. The fact is that some people solve the problem in a few days, while others can help solve it in a few minutes.
Recognize and solve problems. You don't have to hide from them. Negative emotions are time bombs and there is no point in waiting for them to explode. There was a problem - solve it at once, in process of receipt.
Don't blame other people for your failures. Most losers blame other people for their failures - that's the easiest thing to do. We blame bosses for miserable wages, the government for unemployment, an unfair world for unfulfilled dreams. However, as Carnegie said, the realization of the set goals depends only on the degree of responsibility that a person decides to take on. Many people do not know how to use their potential to one hundred percent, and therefore give up goals. Blaming other people for the failures, a person removes responsibility for his life and his successes. So other people begin to control his fate. If you firmly decide that you will independently go towards your goals, you will become the full master of your destiny.
Don't get hung up on small issues. Most people take to heart any criticism, remarks and insults from those with whom they do not even know. Self-confident people will never pay attention to such trifles. The more often it seems to you that your pride is being hurt, the less potential you will have left. You are wasting your energy on trifles that won't matter in a short amount of time.
Try never to complain to anyone. As soon as problems begin in a person’s life, he hurries to complain to loved ones. The more often you do this, the faster you become a magnet for negative emotions. You send negative signals, they come back to you - along with negative energy. Dissatisfied with what is happening to you? Don't complain, but work on fixing the problem and moving on.
Always set big goals and don't waste your time on small things. Why do many people have such insignificant goals and desires? Only because of self-doubt. Having set a big goal once, and having failed, many people refuse to believe in success. There is no need to be afraid of failure! You have enough strength and energy to implement all plans. Don't be afraid to take risks.
Live in the present. How often does a person reminisce? Almost every day. You can sit and regret that you missed something and did not do it twenty years ago, or you can move forward and not think about what opportunities you had before. Everyone chooses his own path. Carnegie said the right things: the past is our past, and no matter how much we think about it, it cannot be changed. It is better to sit down and think about how you can fix everything. If you do not want to waste precious time, live only in the present and set goals for the future.
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Drop the duality. Surrender to the inner joy that comes from self-giving.
Dale Carnegie understood this world very correctly. We cannot be happy as long as we divide everything that happens into bad or good, into ours and yours, into cold and warm. You need to move away from dualities, and perceive everything as it is. Whatever happens in your life - take this for granted, as an experience, as a lesson, as an opportunity to change something, to act differently.
expectations- Another problem that certainly will not make a person happy. Therefore, if you do something, then do not expect gratitude or ingratitude. Well you act in a certain way, not for the sake of being praised and told what a fine fellow you are. Indulge in inner joy and enjoy everything that happens, regardless of the assessment of others.
2. You should never settle scores with enemies, because in the end it will bring more harm to you than to them.
Although there is such a thing as "blood feud", and there are people living on the principle of "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", but is this right? Believe me, revenge will not make you happy, and will not bring joy and peace into your life. Learn to forgive people, learn to understand them and accept all their actions. It is much easier when you say inside yourself: Whatever you do, I forgive you. go in peace».
Of course, for some it may seem ridiculous, they say, if they offended me or my relatives, then you need to offend in response, take revenge, do the same as they do to you. Remember that evil breeds even more evil, and your desire for revenge will bring many problems and disappointments into your life. We do many actions on emotions, and only after that, when we assess the situation soberly, we understand how stupid we have done. Don't be stupid, learn to forgive and be tolerant.
3. Do like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people you don't like.
There are so many wonderful things in life, so much pleasant and positive, we just often do not notice these banal things. Don't dwell on the problems and the people who create those problems. Do not think about those who are unpleasant to you, about those who bring sadness and disappointment into your life. After all, the law of attraction says: "What you focus your attention on, then it comes into your life with a special speed." If you constantly think about problems, then there will be even more of them. So bring joy into your life positive thinking, faith in a brighter future. Believe me, life is not so long as to spend it thinking about unpleasant things and people.
4. Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain.
Perhaps the most short quote Dale Carnegie, but the most profound in meaning. Many understand that it is not necessary to criticize, condemn and favor, but not many people think why. Let's figure it out. What are critics is the realization that you are above and better than a man. And who told you that? Your own ego? Well, you don’t need to put yourself above others, because you don’t know all their life situations, and you can’t criticize a person for what he is this moment. The only person you have the right to criticize is yourself. Condemnation also comes from criticism. Who are we to judge other people. We often see grains of sand in the eyes of others, while not noticing the beam in our own. We love to savor and condemn the problems of a neighbor, but at the same time we are not able to notice and understand our own troubles.
Complaints is another negative aspect of our lives that you must eliminate. Complaining and making yourself a victim won't change anything. As mentioned above, what you focus your thoughts on is what comes into your life. If you constantly think about problems, complain about a bad life, then it will be even worse.
5. Remember, your interlocutor can be completely wrong. But he doesn't think so. There is no need to condemn him.
Each of us has his own point of view, his own thoughts and vision of certain situations. Let your thoughts not always coincide with the views of the interlocutors. But it's natural. We are all individuals, we all have the right to freedom of opinion. Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where your friend will talk about something that you do not agree with, then it is better to just accept it, take his point of view. We are not saying that you have to change yourself and your vision, you just have to learn to accept other people as they are. The desire to argue and change them will lead to the emergence of conflict. You need it?
6. Know how to take the position of another person and understand what he needs, and not you. Whoever manages to do this will have the whole world.
Do not look at the world only from the position of "I" and "I need." We are told from the pages of fashion magazines, from TV screens, that selfishness is normal, that you need to live for yourself and not notice anyone else, and this is the only way you can achieve success. But few compare the concept of success and happiness. Will you be happy if you do not have true friends, good acquaintances, if you are valued only for a bank account. Steve Jobs once said: Money is not the most important thing. I don't want to be the richest dead man in the graveyard».
Learn to understand other people, see their needs and desires. You never need to put yourself higher, to assume that because you have more money, you have the right to manage the lives of other people. Learn to live in harmony with this world and with all people.
7. If a person tries to use you for his own purposes, cross him out of your acquaintances.
Don't let yourself be manipulated. Yes, you can understand a person, understand his motives, you can even accept such behavior, but this does not mean that you should allow him to use you for selfish purposes. If you see that they are smiling falsely at you and “pour pink syrups” just for the sake of profit, then try to say goodbye to such a person. Believe me, it’s better to do it right away and separate your life paths than to get into a very difficult and unpleasant situation in the future.
8. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.
Very good quote Dale Carnegie which says that you can find a way out of any situation. Everything that you think is problems and failures, in fact, is not. What makes a particular situation problematic? That's right, our attitude towards it. Some, faced with problems, lose heart, begin to worry and fear that they will not be able to find the right way out. Others, having received a similar situation in their lives, think completely differently. They understand that a problem is not a problem at all, but an opportunity to analyze their actions, understand what was done wrong, realize certain points and do it all over again, only taking into account the experience and knowledge gained.
Someone who gets a lemon can grimaced and say “Fu, what a disgusting thing”, and someone will make lemonade and enjoy it on a hot summer day.
9. Be busy. It is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.
I don't even know what to add here. In fact, this phrase says it all. Always find something to do for yourself: work, write, study, draw, sing, learn, look at nature outside the window with involvement. When you are busy, no problems are essential; when you are busy, all difficulties disappear. The main thing is that this activity brings pleasure, so that you really enjoy what you are doing.
10. Act like you're already happy and you'll actually be happier.
Above, we have repeatedly focused on the fact that what thoughts dominate in your life, it becomes so. If you want to be loved, feel and give love. If you want to be rich, radiate abundance and never for a moment doubt that you are worthy big money. If you want to be happy, why wait, already now feel happiness, joy and harmony within yourself.
It all starts with a thought in inner awareness. And only when you start to think correctly, the whole world will adjust to your desires.
Dale Carnegie's advice teaches the art of communicating with people, assessing circumstances and making informed decisions, and acting as efficiently as possible.
Carnegie's most popular works are How to Win Friends and Influence People (1937), How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948).
These bestsellers, written over half a century ago, are still relevant today. Moreover, Carnegie's work is considered by many to be the best of applied psychology for setting goals, and subsequently achieving goals.
Six ways to win people over:
1. Show genuine interest in other people.
2. Smile! After all, this simplest way make a good first impression.
3. Remember that for a person the sound of his name is the sweetest and most important sound of human speech.
4. Be a good listener. Encouraging others to tell you about themselves is the easiest way to become a good conversationalist.
5. Keep the conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.
6. Let people feel their importance and do it sincerely.
Twelve ways to win people over to your point of view:
1. The only way to get the best result in an argument is to avoid the argument. There are no winners in a dispute.
2. Show respect for the opinions of others. Never tell a person they are wrong. (Sure way to make enemies)
3. If you are wrong, admit it right away and sincerely.
4. Showing your friendly attitude right away is the surest way to the human mind.
5. Conduct a conversation so that your interlocutor from the very beginning answers you "yes, yes." (Secret of Socrates).
6. Try to get your interlocutor to talk more than you.
7. Let your interlocutor feel that the idea belongs to him. This will help you achieve cooperation.
8. Honestly try to take the other person's point of view. (Put yourself in his place in this or that situation).
9. Show interest in other people's thoughts and desires.
10. Appeal to noble motives!
11. Make your ideas visual, dramatize them.
12. When nothing works, try challenging!
Nine ways to change a person without hurting or causing resentment:
1. If you must point out a mistake to a person, start by praising and sincerely acknowledging the person's merits.
2. When drawing people's attention to their mistakes, do it in an indirect way. (Criticize without causing hatred).
3. Before criticizing another person, talk about your own mistakes.
4. Ask questions instead of giving orders. no one likes an orderly tone.
6. Praise the person for even the most modest success and be "sincere in your recognition and generous in your praise."
7. Create a good name for a person so that he begins to live in accordance with it.
8. Use promotion more widely. Let the person know that his shortcoming is easy to fix, and the business you want to get him interested in is interesting and its implementation will not be too difficult.
Leave your comments or additions to the article!
Would you like to win over people? Any. Find friends in any situation?
Be able to communicate with people important quality for an entrepreneur. Some tips on how to do it right can be found in Dale Carnegie. He said:
“All the ideas that I admire are not mine. I took them from Socrates. I overheard at Chesterfield. And I looked at Jesus. I wrote them all down in a book. If you don't like these rules, which ones would you use."
Who was Dale Carnegie? He was a rich, successful man. He wrote a short book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, which has sold over 30 million copies. It is still being published and sold today, and this is probably one of the best books about how to communicate with people.
These few tips are from there. Proven by time and experience.
1. Create your own emotions
"If you want to be fun, be fun."
Emotions also work in the opposite direction. You can use this to your advantage. If you're stuck on a negative emotion, just shake it off. Change your body position, change your facial expression, act as if you are already having fun. Joy and others positive emotions more useful for communication, pleasant for the interlocutor.
2. Logic is overrated.
"When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with beings of logic, but with beings of emotion."
This is the key to communication. Logic - good thing. But when it comes to communication, people are emotional. We send and receive emotions from others. That's why body language, voice and tone convey up to 93% of information to us.
Body language, voice, tonality - things that show what we feel, what we think. And that is why you need to be able to change your emotions. It greatly influences how you speak, how you use your body. And this will affect your relationships and the results of communication.
3. 3 things to avoid
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. But understanding and forgiveness requires strong character and self-control.”
It is difficult to avoid criticism, condemnation and complaints. Some people take some pleasure in criticizing and complaining. These things help a person feel more important if they criticize someone. Or better than he is, if he acts as a victim.
But ultimately these qualities are negative and they limit your life very much. They affect your mood, motivation, actions. You can fall into the “complainer” trap: a spiral where you complain, complain again, listen to complaints, find faults in your daily life. You will receive and give negative emotions. People always want to feel good. Therefore, this behavior puts barriers on the way to finding new useful contacts.
4. What is the most important?
"The royal road to a man's heart is through talking about the things he believes in the most."
Classic advice. Talk less about yourself. Your life and thoughts. Listen more. But if your affairs do not show interest, it is better to leave.
5. Focus not on yourself, but on the world around you
"You can make more friends in two months showing interest in other people than you can in two years trying to get people interested in you."
Many people use the second, less effective method. He is more attractive because everyone talks about me, about me. The first way is more efficient. People will love you back. Be interested in them and they will become interested in you.
But there is one tricky thing. Your real thoughts are conveyed through your body language and your sound. Therefore, a person will immediately notice insincere interest. As a result, communication will suffer.
6. Take control of your emotions
"A person who seeks the approval of others trusts his happiness to strangers."
If you are looking for approval in the eyes of other people, waiting for their praise, you trust them with most of your emotions. And your well-being turns into a rollercoaster. One day you feel uplifted. You can't move the next day.
Take control of this. Now you are driving, you are in control of how you feel. Of course, you are pleased to receive compliments, but you do not depend on them.
This will make you more emotionally stable, allows you to pump your "emotional muscles". Now you can help yourself become more optimistic, stay emotional for longer. This stability and growth is good for relationships.
7. Nobody pulls you back
“Instead of worrying about what people will say about you, why not do something that they will admire?”.
By caring too much about what people think of you, you feed the monsters in your head. Do you think people will judge you for what you do? Perhaps they will. But the truth is that most of the time, they think of themselves. They just don't care about most of what you do.
This can be disappointing. Or inspire. After all, now you do not have a barrier of public opinion that prevents you from acting!
8. What does this mean for me?
“There is only one way…to get someone to do something. It's to make the other person want to do it."
If you want something from another person, will he care about your motivation? Maybe. But more often than not, they won't care about you.
People want to know what they get out of it. Thus, to get what you need, show the person his benefit.
9. It's About More Than Words
“There are 4 ways to contact the world. And we are evaluated and classified according to these ways of contact: what we do, how we look, what we say and how we say.
Often people focus on the third point: what we say. But remember that most people form a stereotype on the first meeting. Maybe they don't want to, but it happens subconsciously. And maybe your brain also forms an opinion about people. So think about how you look from the outside. Think about how to make a first impression. Think about body language. And your speech. Think about how you feel because it affects what you say.
10. Smile
The easiest way to make a good impression is to smile sincerely. As Dale Carnegie himself described: “... the smile“ says ”: I like you! I am very glad to see you!” A gloomy and dissatisfied person will never make a positive impression on others.
11. Call people by name
For each person, the sound of his name is one of the most beloved and pleasant. If you try to remember and address people by their first names, they will “thank” you with their kindness to you.
12. Talk to people about their interests
Roosevelt's success depended largely on knowing that the way to anyone's heart was to talk about what they were interested in. Therefore, he had a wide range of knowledge. Before the arrival of a person, Roosevelt studied (was interested in) the issue that interests the interlocutor.
13. Make people feel they matter
Making pleasant compliments to a tired lady who serves you at the bank, you will not only draw attention to yourself and win her over, but also make a person’s gray working day a little more pleasant. But an insincere compliment is not. You need to say what you feel. As Dale Carnegie wrote: "... if you do good only for your own benefit, then we will face the bankruptcy that you deserve!"
Conclusion
Dale Carnegie is a good psychologist whose advice greatly influences the lives of hundreds of people. Using these simple rules help you build strong long-term relationships. Communication is the most important skill for a good entrepreneur and is worth developing every day.
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